Relationships

The pressures of being 30 and single.

Cristal Clear16 Comments

I’m not even going to lie! This ish is hard!!!!!! Some days I’m this wildly confident woman that’s super excited about not having a family to look after, other days I just want to lay in bed and not face the world. I want a husband and I want like 5 kids. I know I’m blessed . I know I have nothing but time on my hands to really enjoy the heck out of life and do WHATEVER I WANT . I know. That still doesn’t take away from the fact that I want my own family.

I’m really not going to beat myself up over this. I’m going to rant today and keep it moving. Today, I’m feeling like, ” what’s wrong with me?”. Why doesn’t anybody want to be with me? Why is it so damn hard to find a man these days? Am I the only one struggling here? Help a sista out! Let me know how you are surviving your 30’s being single.

I know when I have these moments I can get real desperate, I don’t want to choose the wrong man out of desperation! I want the one that’s going to be my partner in life. The one I can laugh with. The one I can feel secure with. The one that will be a good father to my children. The one that doesn’t put work before family. The one that prays over his home. The one that genuinely wants to love and protect his wife and kids.

I’m very aware that I still have to grow within myself. So maybe this alone time is exactly where I need to be right now. Is it tough at times? Absolutely. Everyone says trust God , but to be honest , I’m not really trying to hear that from all the married folks. Thanks , but no thanks! I still love y’all tho! ❤️

Honestly. Sometimes I just want a distraction from myself. Rediscovering yourself and making your life exactly what you want it to be can be fun , but it can also be very hard. Healing is hard. It’s so easy to go back to what you’re comfortable with. I want to give up like allllll the time. But , I know I can’t. I have to keep going , even when it gets tough. My relationship status doesn’t define me. I’m still worthy and I’m still amazing . Most importantly, I can put allll the attention on myself and helping others in this season. I know I have to grow in certain areas, I will focus on that for now. Life is one big rollercoaster. I want to drop everything and move to Hawaii , but I’m not . I have things to do on this earth to make it a better place.

As they say in AA, one day at a time.

16 thoughts on “The pressures of being 30 and single.”

  1. Hi… I’m also single and almost 30!!.. Tired of being pitied upon. Tired of feeling like a bad penny all the time.. Glad to know I’m not alone at this.. Thanks for your post, You’re downright honest and I can relate to everything you’ve written.. May God bless us all

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  3. I hear ya, it is a process, not easy, but worth it in the end. I’m single and in my 30s, I face fearful thoughts, but its the enemy lying to me, preventing me from staying close to God. God knows our pain, yet he knows if we’re not ready he wont bring the blessing. But did you know if the blessing (spouse) isn’t ready, he wont present them to us. Both sides want someone, but God has to get them ready to receive each other. Importantly, remember verse Proverbs 18:22, a man FINDS a wife, not the other way around. God will reveal all things, just distract your mind by doing Gods work, helping others. Thinking less of yourself and more about others. I hope this helps! Awesome blog by the way.

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  4. I’m not yet 30, but I am at a stage in my life where my friends are in serious relationships and I’m going to start seeing engagements and weddings soon. So far, I haven’t been terribly bothered about being single, but I do wonder how I’ll feel once everyone starts pairing off. I like that you take the time to acknowledge and feel your feelings instead of bottling everything up. I think a lot of people feel what you’re feeling but don’t always talk about it. Thanks for being so open. 🙂

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    • Yeah I’m very in tune with my feelings. I’ve bottled everything up before and it’s self destructive so I rather just let it all out . It’s better for me and for everybody around me. We are humans and God gave us feelings for a reason. Ain’t no shame in my game lol this too shall pass though. We won’t be single forever ! I’m working on enjoying my singleness, sometimes it’s tough but I know I can do it 🙂 have a great weekend.

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  9. Hey sis i read your post and believe sometimes i feel pressured myself when someone ask me are you dating anybody and i said no, why aren’t with anybody, do you want to be with anybody, when are you going to be marry and all of that. I may be 28 years old but still and all when people ask me about me dating and getting marry, i feel pressure myself. I’m a single woman too and i choose to wait on the Lord and be a good courage. Yesss it’s easy for a married person to say wait on God!!!!!!! I understand that but when it’s all said and done, just because we see some married couples doesn’t mean God ordained it. We have to realized that God timing is perfect and He knows exactly what’s He doing in our lives. I don’t care what people say, whatever state you’re in, be content sis. Trust and believe me it gets lonely at times but i believe we have to go through some lonely times in order for God to separate us from the people who are no good for us and who can’t go to the next level with is. God bless you sis and keep allowing God to use you ib your singleness. Remember being single and in your 30s is a blessing not a curse.

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