In the Christian community we assume that no one is having sex unless they are married. The only reason we wait until we are married is because the Word of God says so. okay, that’s understandable. But, why? One of the reasons I stayed away from the church for so long was because nobody was going to tell me what to do with my body. In all reality, this is how a lot of people think. People don’t want to live by rules. We want to do whatever we want because we can.
There is so much beauty in waiting. It’s way deeper than not having sex. The whole point is for you to stay pure in all your ways. The point is to be so complete in the Lord that you don’t need sex to satisfy your selfish fleshly desires. What’s the point of practicing celibacy when you have a heart full of lust? It defeats the purpose. At that point, you aren’t experiencing the beauty of waiting for the one God has for you, it becomes torture. That’s not the way God wants you to live. Christ came so we can be free.
When you choose to wait until marriage you have to know why you are doing it. It’s going to take you having a real conversation with yourself and getting down to that why. If you don’t have a “WHY?” you are not going to succeed. You will give in to your flesh every single time. When God called me to wait until marriage I knew why. God is a God of order. He doesn’t want us out here living recklessly. A reckless life leads to pain.
My view on sex like many others was distorted. Sex for me was a way to gain control of situations. I used my body to get what I want. I used my body to manipulate situations. I had a heart full of lust because I didn’t know any better. My mindset was, “this is what you do when you are an adult, you have sex.” Just think about how many painful situations could have been avoided if you didn’t have sex? Months go by and all you’ve done is talk , chill , have sex. By the time you see the “REAL” person you are already emotionally, physically , and spiritually tied to that person. This is why it’s important to wait. It’s not because God wants to torture us, it’s because he wants to protect our heart. God knows how powerful sex is! He created it.
Waiting is not only to protect your heart, but, to get your body under submission. If you cannot control your sexual desires when you are single you will not control them in a relationship/marriage. It’s about being in control of yourself. Having enough discipline to turn down sex. Yes, you can do whatever you want, BUT! just because you can do it does not mean it’s beneficial to you (1 Corinthians 10:23).
Having a sex drive is not bad. God created sex. Having an uncontrolled sex drive is bad. If you want to wait until marriage, start practicing now. Stop dating and focus on God. It’s going to take some sacrifice. It’s not going to be perfect and you might mess up, grace. You will have to take some time to just focus on you and your relationship with God. Ask God to reveal to you everything that’s in your heart that isn’t bringing glory to him. Trust me , if you ask, God will definitely show you.
As for me, I seeked validation in men . I thrived off attention. I was raped at 17, followed by a lifestyle of binge drinking. I never dealt with my rape. I felt abandoned, rejected and unloved. I made a lot of bad decisions because of it and all the experiences after. But, God is going to get all the glory out of my story.
I used to lead with my body… now I lead with the Word of God.
How did I stop having sex? I cut off all the men I was talking to. I deleted numbers. If I had sex with you, I deleted you off of my Facebook, instagram and snapchat. YES, IT TAKES EXTREME MEASURES! Living for Christ is EXTREME. It’s not easy, but, it is so worth it. I have so much peace now. I have better judgement when it comes to men. I love myself more. It’s empowering to not have sex because I choose not to. I don’t tolerate bad behavior or disrespect. As women, we have power. I didn’t realize how much power I had until I tapped into God’s word. I’m a force to be reckoned with and so are you!
I don’t care what you’ve done or if you have a man in your bed right now, God still loves you. Choosing to wait is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. God is good. Obedience unlocks blessings. I just want to be a vessel that God uses in this world to bring people back to life.
I know what it’s like to live a life in complete darkness. That’s not living! I promise you there’s light on the other side. Let God in.
Perfect love casts out fear.