Why is it so easy to focus on the negative instead of the good? Lately, I have been in such a funk. I was angry and mad at everything. Everything was bothering me and I was literally over everything. God, I want you but I don’t desire you. I want to live for you, but , I’m lonely. I want to stay pure , but, I also want to have sex. I want to live for you, but, at times I don’t.
God, this is too hard.
We all know that if you are going to be spiritually fit, it is going to take work. You will not wake up day after day in a good mood without putting in the work. We have to work for our peace. We have to work for our joy. We have to seek God to build fruit. I don’t know about you, but I can’t love everybody with my own strength. The way I’m used to doing things is by lashing out and seeking revenge. I know that in order for growth to happen something has to change. Thank you God for showing me.
Not to long ago, someone said something to me regarding my social media posts and it really bothered me. People love my posts and a lot of individuals can relate. A lot of people are in pain and that’s who God created me for , the hurting. I thank God for my calling . I have to admit though, sometimes it is hard. People can be mean and you want to be mean right back. I have to remember that this is not about me. This is about bringing glory to God so people can be set free.
I know who I am. I fought hard to get here. I fought hard for my healing. The enemy has a way of convincing you that you have a right to be upset and lash out. The devil wants us in discord, he doesn’t want us to love unconditionally. Just like God has an agenda for us , so does the enemy. The spiritual fight is a battle. Because we don’t see the enemy physically we often forget about him. We make excuses for our behavior and don’t realize how the enemy plays a part in it .
I have to keep reminding myself that this is a war, we don’t fight with each other. We fight the only way we know how to fight , through prayer. I can fight with everyone around me or I can choose to pray. God changes our heart in prayer. Prayer is such a powerful weapon. When you pray you can defeat the enemy. When you pray you hear God’s voice. When you pray you know when you are being attacked. I got comfortable and stopped praying. I learned my lesson. Never stop praying.
God is so good. He is so faithful . Seek him. Repent. Forgive. Stay prayed up. He can change things in an instant.
Ephesians 6- 12 For we[d] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.