Do the one thing.

Things may not get easier , but , you will get stronger.

Your situation may be the same, but, your perspective may be different.

So many things are tugging at our hearts.

Whether it be family, school, work, social media, tv , gossip blogs, etc ; something is always pulling at our hearts. So many things and people want our attention.

We log on to social media day after day, minute after minute , only to see the same posts over and over.

Can I challenge you tonight?

Can I challenge you to log off?

Can I challenge you to pray instead?

Can I challenge you to go before God in prayer and ask him to reveal what’s been taking his place in your heart?

Can I challenge you to let go of the things that really don’t matter and pursue all the things that do?

Can I challenge you to stop settling for regular , kick fear in the face and flourish?

Can I challenge you to just be vulnerable for a second?

Can I challenge you to just drop the mask and really deal with you?

Y’all.. I know life is calling. I know it’s easier to run away from the reality of your life and into the distractions of this world.

I know how easy it is to run, but you know what happens when I run?

I get irritable. I get anxious. I get annoyed. I get frustrated. I get angry. I’m quick to lash out. Wanna know why?

Because I’m running in the wrong direction. I’m frustrated because I know I need to do something, but, fear has me saying NO! It’s a never ending cycle of frustration. I suffer and the people around me suffer .

You know what kills those feelings? Doing what you know you have to do. You know those things that we feel in our belly. Those things that make you cringe because you just ain’t got time for it right now . Those things that just seem way too difficult, yeah, THAT.

Just start. I’m talking to you and me . I know girl. I know it’s tough. I know you’re confused. I know you don’t know how it’s going to happen. You know what I do know?

That when God created the world he spoke to it. Step by step. He didn’t just say ” EARTH DO YOUR THING ” . He spoke to it and it obeyed. Everything came into alignment after he spoke. What is God saying to you tonight? Are you willing to just do that. Just do the one thing you know you have to do. Start there .

God bless you! You’re not alone 💕

Antidepressants?

I remember being in the psych ward in 2015.

I was so over life.

I lost hope.

I started thinking about ways to just end it all.

I saw no point in living.

If I was created to work, pay bills , and do the same thing over and over again until I die , I wanted no parts.

I kept drinking to numb the pain. I kept dating randoms to ease the pain. I used sex to numb the pain. I didn’t know why I was still alive. All I knew was that these reckless activities made life worth living at the moment. As long as I had a man, I was good. As long as I was drinking, I was good. As long as I was having sex, I was good.

My experience at the hospital wasn’t what I thought it would be. I thought they would help me. I thought they would really care. I thought that they would talk to me to help me get to the core issue of why I was so damn depressed.

But .. no.

I was given antidepressants.

Being around other patients made me want to stay around those that were like me. I didn’t want to leave the hospital because it was safe. Nothing bad could happen. I didn’t have to worry about how my life was in shambles because I didn’t have to deal with life. It was almost like I made an exit to this peaceful place where you go to bed early, take your meds, watch tv and color. But is that really living? Nope.

I was out of there in 3 days. Here’s why. I lied.

I told them I was no longer suicidal. They set up appointments for me to go to an outpatient alcohol program and to go see a psychologist, plus a prescription to continue antidepressants. That’s it. Guess what? I went to neither and I never got my meds. At that point I knew I couldn’t trust the system to help me.

I don’t believe we get depressed or anxious for no reason. I don’t believe in chemical imbalances because that can be altered by life experience, exercise, purpose and healing. So , is it REALLY a chemical imbalance or are we just too lazy to REALLY help people with their problem?

A part of me is happy that we are getting to a place where mental health is talked about on the regular. The only problem I have is that a lot of us are accepting our diagnosis for life. We are accepting that this is life and nothing we do can change it . That’s a lie.

I just saw a commercial for another pill that helps with the side effects of antidepressants. Please explain to me how given someone with suicide thoughts an antidepressant that may increase suicide thoughts is of any help? And on top of that we have the audacity to create another pill that helps decrease the suicidal thoughts. So not only are you super depressed but now you’re taking 2 pills that are taking a toll on your body and covering up your symptoms.

All I know is that antidepressants are not the answer. If you’ve lost hope and you don’t want to the work because it just seems like A LOT , I understand. I get it . It takes a lot to come out of a dark place. You need to put in the work. Get up after falling and try again.

As a woman of God I can’t give the credit to medicine at all. Not only because I feel like most, if not , ALL of our issues are heart and soul issues. Jesus often talked about confession ( therapy/ safe groups) . Jesus often talked about community ( Church/friends/accountability). Jesus often talked about repentance ( forgiveness, letting go and moving forward).

We are weighed down by life’s problems. We are weighed down by our own choices. We are weighed down by the things people have done to us. We are weighed down by comparison. We are weighed down by poverty and low self esteem. you name it and we are weighed down by it.

I believe that we all can be healed and live a life of freedom. It takes daily work. Daily surrender. It takes time. 3 years into my journey and I’m still healing, forgiving, letting go and as a human on this earth, I continue to get hurt. Whether it’s intentional or unintentional, it happens. Life happens to all of us . We have to make up in our minds that we can overcome by the Blood of Jesus.

If you need to start on medicine , cool. If you need to talk it out , go talk it out. But please understand that you don’t have to live like that forever. Jesus restores , he saves and he redeems . This world cannot add to you. This world can’t heal you. Our jobs can’t heal us. Our money can’t heal us. Our big houses can’t heal us.

You know what heals us, LOVE. We all need to be LOVED. I pray that everyone reading this knows that you are worthy of being loved. I pray for you to have the strength to leave toxic things in your life. I pray you come across Godly, genuine and loving people that don’t want to change anything about you, but love you just as you are ! Because you my friend are worthy of that and more.

I pray for peace, joy and love to flood your life. I pray morning comes now. I pray for heaviness to fall off and for your joy to shine through.

Yes, you may have been through some things but that’s not who you are, it’s just what you’ve been through. Don’t label yourself. Take the labels others have put on you and throw them out . You are a Kings kid and we are called to live prosperous lives. Our souls need rest. Our soul will prosper. Surrender. ❤️🙏

We are not called to be regular.

I don’t believe in mediocre living.

Nothing about Jesus was regular.

Nothing about the Holy Bible is regular.

Nothing about the disciples were regular.

Nothing about the woman at the well was regular.

Nothing about the woman with the issue of blood was regular.

When I look at scripture , I see BRAVERY.

I see STRENGTH.

I see FAITH.

I see COURAGE.

I see a whole bunch of people that stepped out on FAITH.

They didn’t know what was going to happen or how it was going to happen, but, they moved in faith anyway. NOTHING STOPPED THEM.

It makes me think of my own life. How many times do we settle for regular?

How many times do we just stay around mediocre friends?

Mediocre relationships?

Mediocre jobs?

Mediocre lives?

We settle for mediocre because it’s what we often see. When all we see is people settling for regular , it becomes our normal. When we see everyone in regular relationships, we stay in regular relationships.

Everything in our lives should thrive.

Why is it that being comfortable is what we choose when the whole Gospel is about being uncomfortable?

You want to live debt free? It’s going to be uncomfortable for a season.

You want to wait for a man or woman of God? It’s going to be uncomfortable for a season.

You want to get in shape? It’s going to be uncomfortable.

You want to start a business and leave your 9-5? It’s going to be uncomfortable.

You want to inspire the world and do big things? It’s going to be uncomfortable.

Everything that requires us to be BRAVE, have COURAGE, FAITH AND STRENGTH is going to be uncomfortable at first.

Ruth had to leave everything she knew for the unknown. What is God calling you to leave? In what area is God calling you to be BRAVE in? In what area is he asking you to have FAITH and leave it all behind? In what area is he asking you to be COURAGEOUS?

We are followers of Christ. We are called to live a life outside of our comfort zone. None of our promises are in our comfortability.

When I look at the scripture , God always chose someone to do it first. He always chose someone to break the cycle. What do you do when God is calling you to do something or wait on something that you’ve never seen or seen someone else have before?

Do you know how hard it is to wait on a Godly man when no one I know is in a healthy thriving relationship?

Do you know how hard it is to start something from the ground up when no one in my family has ever done it?

Do you know how hard it is to break toxic thought patterns?

Do you know how tough it is to be changed by the power of the spirit but your surroundings haven’t changed?

Our walk in Christ is not comfortable. It was never meant to be. It was meant to change us. Transform us. BE THE EXAMPLE. That’s who we are called to be. We are ambassadors of Christ . Let’s not conform to the thinking and patterns of this world, but , let us be the difference that this world needs. Let people see Christ in us. Let us shine our light. Let us be different. Let us be COURAGEOUS AND FULL OF FAITH.

With GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE .

I pray that we are all strengthened in the spirit so we never forget why God called us to this generation.

You are not regular, GO BE GREAT AND STAND OUT! You were never meant to fit in. 💗

Enough.

Just a little reminder.

You are enough.

In case you woke up questioning your existence, you matter.

The breath in your lungs is proof that God isn’t done with you yet.

Your money does not make you more valuable.

A big house doesn’t make you any more valuable.

Being married doesn’t make you more valuable.

Having children doesn’t make you more valuable.

You are enough just as you are with what you do have.

I’m sorry the people in your life always make you feel like you’re not enough as is.

They make you feel like your life matters once you lose the weight,

Once you get the 6 figure salary,

Once you get the ring.

You are important whether you live a picture perfect life or a mediocre one.

Don’t let other people make you feel bad for being where you are in life.

You are exactly where you need to be and you don’t owe anyone anything.

God chose you to be here right now.

Be content in where you are .

The beauty is that God is not done with you.

Yes, it’s okay to want to live a life without worries and pressure and you will… in time.

You are in the process.

Give yourself grace .

Give yourself time.

You’re in a rush , God isn’t.

Conquer your day and speak life over yourself.

You are enough.

God is not done with you. 🙏❤️

Peace….

I like writing about peace because it’s something that a lot of us struggle to receive. Life is unpredictable and if it’s not one thing it’s another. How can we possibly have peace if it’s ” ALWAYS SOMETHING!??”, easy . Our ways are not his ways and our thoughts aren’t his thoughts.

On this faith journey I’m coming to the realization that you can have peace even if life isn’t the way you want it to be. I have goals and dreams. I also want a husband , children and a home full of peace , love and grace. There’s a lot of things that I want that I just don’t have yet . I’m working towards certain goals, but, some things I have no control over,like the fact that I have no idea when I will meet my husband. All I’m doing is walking in obedience and focusing on the things I have to do for the Lord, right now.

You know what I noticed ? That when I’m soooo focused on what I don’t have , I’m sad. I find myself feeling unworthy and unlovable. I start thinking that good things happen to everyone else except me. I start comparing myself to other people around my age. I start telling myself that it will never happen for me. I will never be successful . Maybe I’m just thinking too big and I need to be realistic .

But then! I open up the word of God. The devil is a liar and he will have you thinking that your life is over when it’s not. As long as you have breath in your lungs, GOD IS NOT DONE WITH YOU.

I’m learning to cast down thoughts and it’s something that I practice daily. I speak Gods word over my life because it’s the only thing that works. That’s why I’m so passionate about Jesus. He is not dead, HE IS ALIVE. He gives life to our dry bones. He gives us the words to speak life over ourselves . He gives us strength when we are weak and he gives us hope when things seem hopeless.

Living in America is a gift and a curse. We live in a very good country. We are spoiled. We all aim for the American Dream like happiness comes with it. Reality check? It doesn’t. Happiness comes in love. In being content with your portion. In being alive. In smelling the roses. Looking at how green the grass is and enjoying nature. There is so much beauty around us and we miss it. We miss it because we are focused on what we don’t have and what we ” should ” have.

we all will die one day and we won’t get another chance at life. Choose joy. I know you may be in a storm but you can’t get yourself out of the storm. Reach for Jesus like the woman with the issue of blood did. ReAch for the hem of his garment. In your desperation cry out to Jesus. He will answer. He will fill you. This world will not satisfy. Jesus is the well that will never run dry.

I watched a video of Kanye West this morning and he said at a church over the weekend,

“nothing is better than God and a sound mind.”

That resonated with my soul. Because quiet frankly, NOTHING IS BETTER THAN GOD AND A SOUND MIND.

I’ve lived without God and I’ve lived with mental turmoil. I’m living proof of God’s power that is inside of every single one of us. Peace is our portion. Jesus came to give us life. Jesus is the answer. Don’t look nowhere else, look to Jesus. 🙏🙌❤️

August 1 2019.

New day . New month. New goals. New challenges. Clean slate.

In 5 months it will be 2020!

When did this even happen? Why does it feel like time is FLYING!

Maybe it’s just me but I’m grateful.

Grateful for the lessons that I have learned in the last 20 years .

20 years ago I was 12 .😂 who knew that 4 years later my life would change drastically. And 2 years after that my life turned into a huge party for 5 more years .

Everything was a blur. In and out of drunkenness. In and out of clubs. In and out of relationships.

What a blessing it is to live through what I’ve lived through and still stand here sober today with a whole new outlook on life.

What a blessing it is to know that God is not done with me.

What a blessing it is that what the devil meant for evil , God is using it for his good.

What a blessing it is that little ol’ me gets to inspire the world through my humanity.

What a blessing it is to know that if God is for me who can be against me?

What a blessing it is to be alive with hope.

What a blessing it is to be an overcomer.

What a blessing it is to know the Lords peace.

What a blessing it is to know that when I am weak he is strong.

What a blessing is life .

In our darkest most loneliest moments , life doesn’t seem like a blessing, it can seem like a curse.

We start asking why? Why me? Why this family? Why this job? Why this spouse? Why these kids? Why this church? Why this?

But my question to you is , what is God doing in your mess?

In our pain it’s really REALLY hard to see God. I’m not even going to tell you to toughen up and pray about it because I’m sure you’ve been doing that.

What I do want you to do is not doubt what you are in. Don’t doubt God. Ask God to start revealing himself in your situation. What does he want to do in you through this situation?

I know it’s tough and I know you want it to be easy , BUT , everything that shines is made from PRESSURE. If pressure is being applied , YOU ARE CREATED TO FLY. Wait . Trust . Have faith. obey. It won’t always be like this.

I believe in you .

God loves you.

You will Live and not die.