Peace.

When are you at peace?

Is it when you’re laid up on your couch doing nothing?

Is it when you shut off your phone and escape from the world?

Is it when you spend time with the Lord?

Is it at the gym?

Is it when you eat?

Is it when you smoke a blunt?

Is it when you have sex?

Where is your peace?

Do you have peace?

Peace that surpasses all understanding that is.

Did life get so hard that you don’t even think peace is attainable?

Do you really think that we were created to live stressed, depressed and anxious?

No.

Christ came to give us life and have it abundantly.

Not too long ago , I was having suicide thoughts. It was weird because I overcame this already. It was random. I woke up in the morning with such heaviness. I felt alone. I felt left out. I felt like the call God gave me for my life was a lie. It was too much.

Who’s going to listen to me?

I don’t have any degrees.

I’m not perfect.

I don’t speak like the rest.

I don’t look like them.

I’m too bold .

I’m too loud.

Church people don’t say what I say.

I’m a 32 year old single woman.

I think I made a mistake.

Not one person cares about the words that I write or the words that come out of my mouth.

As I laid in bed , these thoughts consumed me.

I cried out “LORD” . Where are you?

You aren’t alone. CAST THEM DOWN!

Cast the thoughts down . Immediately I went into warfare. When you resist the devil he HAS TO FLEE!

Everything shifted.

The enemy will tell you that you will be depressed forever.

The enemy will tell you that it will never get better.

The enemy will tell you that you will always be single.

The enemy will tell you that you’re a bad mom.

The enemy will tell you that you married the wrong one.

The enemy will tell you to give up because no one cares about you anyway.

He is a LIAR.

He comes to steal , kill and destroy!

You have the power to cast down anything that exalts itself over the knowledge of God!

As I look at this world, people are going crazy.

People are more anxious than ever.

Depression is the new norm.

The devil is a LIAR!!!!

We serve the king of Peace !! Grab your Bible , open it up to John , 1 JOHN & 2 JOHN. Get to know Jesus !!! Forget about the church building. Forget about what your pastor told you 4 weeks ago. Forget about what your favorite online preacher told you …

SEEK GOD FOR YOURSELF! LEARN ABOUT THE LORD FOR YOURSELF!

Having the word in your heart is what’s going to sustain you.

I’ve overcome my darkest days , moments and years because of THE BLOOD Of JESUS. Of course the devil wants me to shut up . The same exact thing God will use for his glory is the same exact area the devil wants to take from me.

My voice will be heard.

I will preach the Gospel.

I will grab women out the trenches.

I’m in a battlefield and I will not lose .

Women are dying because they have lost hope.

Not anymore .

Not on my watch.

You will live and not die!

RISE . It’s not over . 🙏

Advertisements

Pray.

Sometimes , our current season may seem like it’s not all that. We start to think more about what we don’t have instead of being thankful for what we do have.⁣

⁣⁣

I remember when I used to pray for this day. I prayed for God to take everything out my life that wasn’t edifying to me . ⁣⁣

⁣⁣

I prayed for God to take the taste of alcohol out of my mouth. ⁣⁣

⁣⁣

I prayed for God to break the soul tie . ⁣⁣

⁣⁣

I prayed for God to deliver me from evil. ⁣⁣

⁣⁣

I prayed for God to heal me and to help me forgive those that hurt me . ⁣⁣

⁣⁣

Most importantly, I prayed for PEACE. I would cry out and just ask God for peace . The pain I physically felt in my body was gut wrenching . The days I couldn’t get out of bed were the days I hoped to die in my sleep. ⁣

How can heartbreak hurt so bad? ⁣⁣

How can people that I love hurt me this bad?⁣⁣

How can rejection hurt so bad? ⁣⁣

How can life hurt this bad? ⁣⁣

How can life be so bad that I can’t stop thinking about suicide?⁣⁣

⁣⁣

God , if you’re real.. this is the time for you to prove yourself . Prove to me that you’re real because I don’t know how many more days I can take of this. ⁣⁣

⁣⁣

I prayed things like that for months! And God came through . ⁣

Your tears are not meaningless. ⁣

Your prayers will be answered. ⁣

Keep going. Persevere. It’s coming . The pain will not last forever ! Declare it over yourself ❤️⁣⁣

⁣⁣

Don’t be discouraged ! ⁣⁣I am a miracle!

YOU ARE A MIRACLE !!

You may not see it yet but GOD IS DOING A NEW THING !!!!

Do it .

It’s 7:35 in the morning.

I already ate breakfast , prayed, read scripture , worshipped , worked out and now I’m at work.

I woke up at 3:50 , 10 minutes before my alarm was set to go off at 4am. For about the past 6 months I’ve had this urgency in me to conquer my days, take my health serious and get my body moving. How can I conquer my life if I don’t conquer my days?

Y’all.. I have no coach. I have no mentor. I have no spiritual mother/father. God has literally been instructing me detail by detail. It’s crazy. When the idea came to me about waking up at 4am I just brushed it off. It would not go away. So , I started.

I’m on week 2 of waking up early and I already feel great. It’s almost like this weight has been lifted off. I always talk about my addiction to alcohol because my addiction led me to be very undisciplined. I don’t know what it’s like to tell my flesh what to do. I just thought God would give me the strength to conquer whatever it is that he wants me to conquer. That’s kind of right . Let me explain.

God is a God of order. He knows when we are ready to face certain challenges. This past weekend I had a conversation with a childhood friend and he said something that really hit me , “Do you really think God gives you strength when you ask ? He already knows what you need when you need it.”

I started thinking and thought to myself , that is so true! How many times have I tried with my own strength to conquer certain things? How many times have I attempted and failed time and time again. You can pray. You can fast. You can cry out. You can do all the right things and still not be ready to do what God wants you to do. There’s literally a season for everything.

Our days are already planned. It’s up to us to follow the instructions. It’s up to us to do what we are called to do. God has already given us what we need. Everything we need is already in us. Often times , we wait for circumstances to line up with what God is saying . Truth is, most times your circumstances won’t line up and that’s okay. Do it anyway.

What does God want you to do right now? Quieting out the noise is so important. We are all called for a specific time and a specific assignment . Your time on this earth is not wasted. What do you have to do that you have been putting off? What is God calling you to do that’s a little hard but you know it will make your life better? We all have to suffer a little while before we get to the promise, if we didn’t the promise wouldn’t mean much . We would take it for granted.

The process is where we are made. The process is where we grow. The process is where we are pruned. The process is uncomfortable , but , if you get comfortable being uncomfortable you’re going in the right direction. No one can stop you, but you.

I believe that conquering your life and being who God called you to be begins with conquering your days .

Just like AA says , one day at a time.

God bless you and I pray you have an amazing start of your week! Remember, no weapon formed shall prosper! You are VICTORIOUS!

Purpose.

Jeremiah 1:5. I don’t believe in coincidence.

I believe God orders our steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

I believe we are all appointed for the time we are needed most.

YOU ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT.

I remember walking around thinking that my life was meaningless.

I filled my days and nights up with meaningless

relationships /situationships, riding around looking for something to get into, hitting up bars, drinking all day so I can feel free and get out of my self.

Giving in to the flattery of men just because it was a distraction from myself.

I was running from myself because I didn’t know how to face myself. Too much pain. Too much confusion. Too many questions. I looked in every direction and still felt empty. The bottle finished but I was still empty. He promised to love me and take care of me , but instead he played me, I ran to the next but I still felt empty.

Somehow, in the middle of the chaos . In the middle of my pain. In the middle of my addiction. In the middle of my depression. In the middle of me hating the woman I had become , GOD STILL CHOSE ME. From my name to my purpose, IT ALL MAKES SENSE .

If you’re laying in bed right now overthinking and questioning your worth, GOD IS NOT DONE WITH YOU! It may not make sense now, you may not understand why you’re going through what you are going through but I promise you, that if you just hold on and seek his face , HE WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH! ✝️

Don’t give up.

As I sit here at my desk, on my laptop, listening to worship music, I can’t help but think….

My life has truly changed.

I never thought that I would have so much peace.

After getting sober in 2016 , my cousin passed away last year. I got hurt by “church” folks. I was depressed for the second half of the year. As much as I tried to get peace and joy , it was far from me.

I didn’t know what was going on. I was praying . I was going to church. I wanted to be happy. Where are you God? What’s going on? Why am I getting hurt by people, again?

I never stopped seeking God.

He restored me. I had to sit still. I had to stop trying so hard and just seek him in my vulnerability. I had to take a step back , see what God wanted me to do and not what Cristal wanted to do.

Often times, when things are going well , we seek God less. It’s almost like we think we don’t need God because life is good. I started this year seeking God and letting go of people that were not beneficial to my growth. Was it hard? Yes. But, my relationship with Christ is #1.

I know I have purpose. I know I have work to do for the kingdom. I know I can’t be distracted. I know that the friends that God has for me will push me towards greatness, not hold me back.

Sometimes you just have to sit still and think about how far God has brought you. I’m a different woman than I was in 2016. I just broke down in tears because I have PEACE. If God never gives me anything else, I will be okay with his PEACE. In this world, nothing matters to me more than my peace.

I’ve suffered. Alcoholism. Rape. Rejection. Abandonment. Heart break after break . Betrayals. Looking for a way out of darkness in everything but GOD. Looking for peace in a bottle and never found it. I looked for peace in a man and never found it. Filled up my life with friends and hangouts , still no peace. Peace can’t be found in anything but the creator of the universe. The creator of our souls. The one who breathed life into our nostrils. That’s where the peace is.

Everything starts to make sense. You now have purpose. You know you aren’t a mistake. Romans 8:28 makes so much sense now .

If you are going through a dark time, please don’t lose hope. Speak life and not death. Even if you don’t see a way out, speak the opposite. If you keep saying things won’t get better , they won’t. What you are going through right now is only temporary…

I promise. 💜🙏

Believe .

You are worthy of losing the weight .

You are worthy of change.

You are worthy of growing.

You are worthy of better.

You are worthy of peace .

You are worthy of confidence.

You are worthy of love.

You are worthy of success.

You are worthy of evolving.

You are worthy of saying no.

You are worthy of being a wife.

You are worthy of getting out of debt.

You are worthy of being whole.

You are worthy of everything great.

Past hurtful experiences are great for hindering us. I’m realizing that growth comes from believing you are worthy of that growth.

Making a decision to grow is half the battle.

BELIEVING you are worthy of becoming better is the other half.

Take your time. You got this 💜