Life.

Life has a way of dimming our light.

Life has a way of killing our joy.

Life can take your hope.

Life can take your happiness.

Life can take your peace.

Life can wear you down to such a point that you stop believing.

Life can keep you in a cycle of addiction and bad relationships.

The pains of life can hurt . Making it almost impossible to get back up.

Heck, sometimes you don’t even want to fight because giving up is easier .

When it seems like you have to fight just to stay alive , it can drain you. You start thinking maybe it’s better this way. The place of lack is my comfort zone. I don’t know any other way to live anyway.

We start believing the enemy’s lies. Our faith becomes distant. We believe but like we believe in Jesus that rose Again, but not the Jesus that can heal and restore like it never happened AND GIVE ME BACK 100x more .

See , the part about faith we often ignore , is the one that matters the most .

Blind faith. when you don’t know any thing. You don’t know how it’s going to happen. You don’t know how it’s all going to work out . You don’t know how you will afford the new apartment. You don’t know if you’ll ever meet your husband. You don’t know if you’ll ever laugh again. You don’t know if you’ll ever be FREE, again. You don’t know how long it’s going to take. You don’t know if living in abundant life is really possible. You start doubting. You want to act in faith but fear paralyzes you.

DID GOD REALLY SAY???

How many times has that one question paralyzed you dead in your tracks feeling like your feet were literally stuck in cement?

The Lord is faithful! And one thing I know him to be is a deliverer. When I wanted to kill myself, he was there. When I wanted to keep sleeping around and drinking myself to sleep , he was my comforter !

When I felt rejected and abandoned , he was there .

When I felt like I was all alone in this huge world, he was there. GOD IS ALWAYS WITH ME JUST AS HE IS WITH YOU.

I always like to say that God never leaves us. We leave him. Any time I go backwards and return with a repentant heart I feel his love and grace all over me.

See, God is not looking at your perfection. He’s waiting on you to stop leaning on your own understanding and REALLY live a life of FAITH.

Not a life where we just go to church for an hour and a half . But, a life full of FAITH AND OBEDIENCE . A life seeking his face . Doing what he’s telling us to do without trying to figure out the how’s to everything.

Just do it . We think ourselves into worry. We think ourselves into fear .

The whole time God is just waiting on me and you to trust him with our whole lives for real. It’s never boring living for the Lord . He will always have us on an adventure , but rest assured , THAT WE ARe NEVER ALONE !!!!

One of my favorite scriptures is when Jesus himself was asking for the cup of suffering to pass him, BUT NOT MY WILL BUT YOURS. Jesus GAVE UP HIS LIFE willingly.

We automatically assume that Jesus was not like me and you. We assume that HE WANTED TO DIE For us because he did . In that prayer , we see that Jesus was looking for a way out !!! But there was no way out ! HE WAS LITERALLY THE ANSWER TO EVERY HUMAN ISSUE ON THIS PLANET.

Be encouraged ! It’s going to be hard , but you’re not alone. Ask God for grace . Ask God to guide you and lead you every step of the way. Do it scared anyway.

Think about it like this, what do you really have to lose by being faithful?

Nothing. Step out on faith .

Pain.

Pain is everywhere. Being a human being means at some point or another you will feel some type of pain that cannot be explained.

Pain that makes you feel heavy. A burden you can’t seem to shake. Whether it’s pain from your past , present or the unexpected pain of not knowing what your future holds. We all know pain.

For some of us , pain is all we know. We don’t know a life of joy, peace and liberty. All we know is pain.

The pain of not having what you think you need. The pain of someone leaving you. The pain of not having enough money. The pain of betrayal. The pain of heartbreak. The pain of lost friendships. The pain of being born into dysfunction. The pain of addiction. The pain of not liking yourself. The pain of wanting to win when everything and everyone seems like it’s against you.

Is life without excruciating pain possible? I don’t think so . Life is going to happen to all of us. How will we deal with what we are dealt with? How will we handle the betrayal? How will we handle the death of a loved one? THE CROSS OF JESUS CHRIST.

Let’s be honest for a second, sometimes, believing in Jesus Christ comes with pain. The messiah , the savior of the whole world was REJECTED ! It comes with the territory. When we choose to love and live for Jesus, the attacks will come. Darkness hates the light , so STAY ANCHORED IN CHRIST . It’s the only way.

It’s so easy to get comfortable. We start settling in our pain. We start denying who God created us to be so we can fit in with what and who’s popular . But, what if God created you to stand out and be a voice shouting in the wilderness? What if you are the voice of hope? What if your the voice that this world needs right now?

Pain has a way of making us desperate for change.

When all you know is pain, you don’t really have anything to lose. So why not go hard in for what you believe in? Why not go hard in giving the world the hope it so badly needs? Why not go hard to pass laws where we can thrive as a nation and help our brothers and sisters?

Life is but a vapor , will your life count?

Or will we keep complaining. Will we keep crying about the past ? Will we keep dwelling in the pain of betrayal and heartbreaks? OR , will we go to the cross with everything that we have and let God deal with things accordingly. There’s only so much that me and you can do when it comes to how people act and treat us. The only thing we can do is not tolerate it , pray for them and be led by the Holy Spirit in all things.

Not in the things that only feel safe to us , but the things that STRETCH US. The things that challenge us to become like Christ so people can see the Jesus in us on earth. It’s going to take commitment . It’s going to take dying to self.

Idk about you, but the pain of living for my own selfish needs and desires is not even worth it . Even though we share in the suffering of Jesus when we choose to live for him, there’s a GLORY that only comes from living In him. That’s what we forget, you’re not missing anything living for him, you’re gaining everything that you will ever need.

The world needs you. We need hope. We need light. We need life changing encounters. We need a breath of fresh air in the earth , and I truly believe that will come when we say YES .

Yes to Jesus.

Yes, to our assignment .

Yes, to what God wants you to do.

Yes, to the things that make you uncomfortable, but also the things that will change you and change the world.

BE ENCOURAGED !

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever! Amen.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:6-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Keep your promises.

How upset do you get when someone makes a promise to you and then breaks it?

If you’re anything like me, you can’t stand it.

How could they?

Why would they say it if they didn’t mean It?

What’s so hard about keeping your word?

We can go on and on and on about the things that go on in our head when others don’t follow through.

Can I ask you a question? When’s the last time you let you down? When’s the last time you told yourself you were going to do something, but , you never followed through?

Whether it’s spending more time with God.

Whether it’s drinking more water.

Whether it’s treating your body like a temple.

Whether it’s ending the situation or relationship that you know is not God sent.

Whether it’s waking up early enough to get to work on time.

WHAT ARE YOUR PERSONAL CONVICTIONS THAT YOU KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM?

What’s God calling you to do that you keep putting off?

Do you not know that we are being made into the image of Christ? That’s an on going process until the day we leave these earthly bodies.

Do you also not know that the reason why most of us stay stagnant is because we keep pushing off what we know we need to do?

Why are we so hard on other people , but yet walk around very nonchalant about our own lives?

Why do we go out of our way for others but can’t even do what we need to do to be better for the people we are called to pour into.

It’s so much easier to pour out when you’re obedient. It’s so much easier to give back when you’re fully confident in who God created you to be. What if the confidence you need is tied to your obedience? What if everything you need is tied to keeping your promises to yourself?

Only you know what you and God talk about every single day. When I’m frustrated and I’m focused on myself , most of my prayers sound the same. It’s all about what I want . When I stop thinking about myself and ask God ,

“what do you want me to do?”

I have two options, ignore or obey.

God knows what’s best for us. Jesus was tempted in every way possible , still obeyed . Jesus was not liked , still obeyed. What if the life you keep praying about is tied to you doing those things you keep running from?

I believe somewhere along the way, people forgot to tell us that we need to work hard for what we want. Whether it’s a better relationship with Christ or whether it’s taking care of your body, ITS ALL GOING TO REQUIRE A DYING TO SELF.

As I was driving home today and praying out loud, the Holy Spirit revealed something to me ,

If you’re tired of being where you are , you’re going to have to get used to saying no to what makes the flesh feel good.

In that very moment, every single thing that I was worried about , disappeared. My problems were my problems because I wasn’t following the Shepherd. I wasn’t following Jesus. I was trying to control every single aspect of my life. Jesus said lose your life and you will find it. Oh, how badly do we try to cling to our own destructive ways.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but, I know that a lot of us are fighting battles because we can’t tell ourselves no to what’s killing us. Say no to yourself and yes to God. Whatever he keeps talking to you about , just do it . Stop putting it off. Do it scared. Keep praying. KEEP SEEKING. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Whatever you do, don’t give up.

Be kind to yourself and know this, the same Spirit that resurrected Jesus from the dead lives in you. You are equipped to do what the Lord wants you to do. One day at a time.

Wake up every day and ask the Lord what he wants you to do today? You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Put your faith and trust back into the only one who can keep you, sustain you, and push you forward.

Kobe Bryant .

The whole world is mourning the death of a basketball legend.

You know what I see?

I see a man that gave it his all.

I see a man that conquered a lot in 41 years.

41 years is not old.

You’ve only been an adult for 23 years.

In 23 years this man showed us what it truly means to work hard.

Kobe showed us to show up even when you don’t feel like it .

Kobe showed us what discipline looks like.

One time he said , if you aren’t here to win then what are we playing for ?

Y’all, that’s a whole sermon right there!

Sometimes , I feel like we walk around like zombies. We walk around in our pain. We own our baggage. We keep our emotional baggage because it’s safe. It’s all we know. We hold on to grudges. We hold on to bitterness. We hold on to anger. We hold on to toxic. We hold on because at least we know what we have . Letting go means you’re opening up to the unknown. Faith is literally walking out and saying if God is for me who can be against me. I don’t know where I’m going but God you got me, lead me.

Oh Lord, May you give us the strength to just let it all go and put you first. To give life our best shot . We don’t know when it’s our time. We assume we will live long. We live like we have all the time in the world , but , life is but a vapor. Here today , gone tomorrow .

I celebrate the man that Kobe was. I celebrate his legacy. I celebrate his hard work and dedication. I celebrate his commitment. I celebrate him for being an example. I celebrate him for being more than a basketball player. I celebrate him for retiring and still making an impact on people instead of checking out and chillen on a yacht. I celebrate him for showing us that when you love what you do , you make no excuses. You get it done. You do it with all you have.

Will you keep making excuses?

Or , will you finally stay committed to that thing even when you don’t ” feel ” like it?

Someone somewhere needs your story. Your wisdom. Your boldness. Your strength. Your commitment. Your example.

Let’s take the focus off of us and focus on ,

How can I do my part and make this world better ?

Do the one thing.

Things may not get easier , but , you will get stronger.

Your situation may be the same, but, your perspective may be different.

So many things are tugging at our hearts.

Whether it be family, school, work, social media, tv , gossip blogs, etc ; something is always pulling at our hearts. So many things and people want our attention.

We log on to social media day after day, minute after minute , only to see the same posts over and over.

Can I challenge you tonight?

Can I challenge you to log off?

Can I challenge you to pray instead?

Can I challenge you to go before God in prayer and ask him to reveal what’s been taking his place in your heart?

Can I challenge you to let go of the things that really don’t matter and pursue all the things that do?

Can I challenge you to stop settling for regular , kick fear in the face and flourish?

Can I challenge you to just be vulnerable for a second?

Can I challenge you to just drop the mask and really deal with you?

Y’all.. I know life is calling. I know it’s easier to run away from the reality of your life and into the distractions of this world.

I know how easy it is to run, but you know what happens when I run?

I get irritable. I get anxious. I get annoyed. I get frustrated. I get angry. I’m quick to lash out. Wanna know why?

Because I’m running in the wrong direction. I’m frustrated because I know I need to do something, but, fear has me saying NO! It’s a never ending cycle of frustration. I suffer and the people around me suffer .

You know what kills those feelings? Doing what you know you have to do. You know those things that we feel in our belly. Those things that make you cringe because you just ain’t got time for it right now . Those things that just seem way too difficult, yeah, THAT.

Just start. I’m talking to you and me . I know girl. I know it’s tough. I know you’re confused. I know you don’t know how it’s going to happen. You know what I do know?

That when God created the world he spoke to it. Step by step. He didn’t just say ” EARTH DO YOUR THING ” . He spoke to it and it obeyed. Everything came into alignment after he spoke. What is God saying to you tonight? Are you willing to just do that. Just do the one thing you know you have to do. Start there .

God bless you! You’re not alone 💕

Antidepressants?

I remember being in the psych ward in 2015.

I was so over life.

I lost hope.

I started thinking about ways to just end it all.

I saw no point in living.

If I was created to work, pay bills , and do the same thing over and over again until I die , I wanted no parts.

I kept drinking to numb the pain. I kept dating randoms to ease the pain. I used sex to numb the pain. I didn’t know why I was still alive. All I knew was that these reckless activities made life worth living at the moment. As long as I had a man, I was good. As long as I was drinking, I was good. As long as I was having sex, I was good.

My experience at the hospital wasn’t what I thought it would be. I thought they would help me. I thought they would really care. I thought that they would talk to me to help me get to the core issue of why I was so damn depressed.

But .. no.

I was given antidepressants.

Being around other patients made me want to stay around those that were like me. I didn’t want to leave the hospital because it was safe. Nothing bad could happen. I didn’t have to worry about how my life was in shambles because I didn’t have to deal with life. It was almost like I made an exit to this peaceful place where you go to bed early, take your meds, watch tv and color. But is that really living? Nope.

I was out of there in 3 days. Here’s why. I lied.

I told them I was no longer suicidal. They set up appointments for me to go to an outpatient alcohol program and to go see a psychologist, plus a prescription to continue antidepressants. That’s it. Guess what? I went to neither and I never got my meds. At that point I knew I couldn’t trust the system to help me.

I don’t believe we get depressed or anxious for no reason. I don’t believe in chemical imbalances because that can be altered by life experience, exercise, purpose and healing. So , is it REALLY a chemical imbalance or are we just too lazy to REALLY help people with their problem?

A part of me is happy that we are getting to a place where mental health is talked about on the regular. The only problem I have is that a lot of us are accepting our diagnosis for life. We are accepting that this is life and nothing we do can change it . That’s a lie.

I just saw a commercial for another pill that helps with the side effects of antidepressants. Please explain to me how given someone with suicide thoughts an antidepressant that may increase suicide thoughts is of any help? And on top of that we have the audacity to create another pill that helps decrease the suicidal thoughts. So not only are you super depressed but now you’re taking 2 pills that are taking a toll on your body and covering up your symptoms.

All I know is that antidepressants are not the answer. If you’ve lost hope and you don’t want to the work because it just seems like A LOT , I understand. I get it . It takes a lot to come out of a dark place. You need to put in the work. Get up after falling and try again.

As a woman of God I can’t give the credit to medicine at all. Not only because I feel like most, if not , ALL of our issues are heart and soul issues. Jesus often talked about confession ( therapy/ safe groups) . Jesus often talked about community ( Church/friends/accountability). Jesus often talked about repentance ( forgiveness, letting go and moving forward).

We are weighed down by life’s problems. We are weighed down by our own choices. We are weighed down by the things people have done to us. We are weighed down by comparison. We are weighed down by poverty and low self esteem. you name it and we are weighed down by it.

I believe that we all can be healed and live a life of freedom. It takes daily work. Daily surrender. It takes time. 3 years into my journey and I’m still healing, forgiving, letting go and as a human on this earth, I continue to get hurt. Whether it’s intentional or unintentional, it happens. Life happens to all of us . We have to make up in our minds that we can overcome by the Blood of Jesus.

If you need to start on medicine , cool. If you need to talk it out , go talk it out. But please understand that you don’t have to live like that forever. Jesus restores , he saves and he redeems . This world cannot add to you. This world can’t heal you. Our jobs can’t heal us. Our money can’t heal us. Our big houses can’t heal us.

You know what heals us, LOVE. We all need to be LOVED. I pray that everyone reading this knows that you are worthy of being loved. I pray for you to have the strength to leave toxic things in your life. I pray you come across Godly, genuine and loving people that don’t want to change anything about you, but love you just as you are ! Because you my friend are worthy of that and more.

I pray for peace, joy and love to flood your life. I pray morning comes now. I pray for heaviness to fall off and for your joy to shine through.

Yes, you may have been through some things but that’s not who you are, it’s just what you’ve been through. Don’t label yourself. Take the labels others have put on you and throw them out . You are a Kings kid and we are called to live prosperous lives. Our souls need rest. Our soul will prosper. Surrender. ❤️🙏