God, WHERE ARE YOU.

In the midst of change, where are you?

In the midst of my insecurities , where are you?

In the midst of my purpose, where are you?

In the midst of my unforgiveness, where are you?

In the midst of my anger, where are you?

In the midst of my pain, where are you?

In the midst of all of this , where are you?

I don’t have the strength to seek you.

I have enough strength to say , ” help me God” .

I hear nothing.

I get frustrated and I start yelling.

Lord you said you will never leave me nor forsake me so why do I feel like you have left me?

What are you trying to show me that I can’t see?

Is my perspective off?

Am I missing something?

Am I distracted?

Where did my zeal go?

Where did you go?

How can I seek you constantly in a world full of hate?

How do you expect me to seek you when I’m surrounded by darkness?

How do you expect me to say Yes when everyone around me is saying NO?

It’s like I’m trapped between doing good and doing evil.

You say vengeance is the Lords , but my pain is telling me otherwise . I’m not you , God.

I can’t turn the other cheek.

I can’t look the other way.

I can’t forgive.

My pain is TOO LOUD.

Paul said it best . I know what I ought to do but I don’t do it..

You called me to pick up my cross.

I picked it up.

I put it down.

I pick it back up.

I think about putting it back down.

It’s too heavy.

The weight is too heavy.

You tell me to place my burden on you , but I’m not patient . I can’t trust . I’m running low on faith. Help.

I know what I ought to do, but I don’t do it .

Give me the strength to do what I know I should do. 🙏

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Only God.

For some reason, it doesn’t matter how many times we experience God’s perfect peace and love , we go back to believing that something in this world can satisfy.

We somehow believe that if we get more money, get the perfect spouse, have the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect house , and everything else we assume that will make life better , then life will be amazing.

But, can I just place a suggestion on your table.

What if we started being thankful?

What if we just praised God for what he has already done ?

Even if he does nothing else in our lives, can we praise him for the breath in our lungs? Can we praise him for being able to walk outside and smell fresh air? Can we praise him for the animals that make us smile ? Can we praise him even though our homes may be a little dysfunctional?

What if we choose to love like Christ? What if we pick up our cross and love our family members that get on our last nerve? What if we really take this love walk serious? What if we really accept that this life of ours is not about us?

Is it possible to just be grateful for what we do have? Even though it’s not everything we thought we wanted in life?

It’s really all about perspective.

Do you really think Jesus wanted to take up his cross? Do you really think Jesus didn’t want to walk away at times? Jesus died for the same people that crucified him.

Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.

Can we really be like Jesus? Can we forgive the ones that hurt us only because their hearts are full of darkness. Can we be mature enough to not take it personal and be the bigger person?

As much as we want to control those around us .

As much as we want them to act a certain way

As much as we want them to appreciate us.

We have no control. We can’t control other peoples actions .

BUT. We can control ours.

I challenge you today to be the bigger person.

I challenge you to be the light in the world.

I challenge you to love the ones that are hardest to love.

Love changes. Love transforms .

Love brings forth repentance.

Love brings forth forgiveness. Not hate.

Love a little more today. People are hurting. It’s only in Jesus that we can be like him. We can’t love, forgive and give grace without our Heavenly Father. Only in him can we be the light of the world.

Only in Jesus . ❤️🙏

His image.

As I look over the past year, I see myself on so many occasions dim myself down to make other people comfortable. It’s almost like I don’t want to be who God created me to be because I don’t want to offend or make anyone’s insecurities surface.

How is it that something as simple as hair can make someone envy you? Of course they don’t say they envy you, but, they make slick remarks about your ” big hair “. So, I go as far as putting my hair in a bun to avoid any remarks on my hair. I actually love my hair. I have curly hair and I hate flat hair . I love big puffy curls. I always have and I always will.

I’m puertorican , I love my curls and I love my hoop earrings , oh and I’m loud .

Sorry, not sorry.

Now, in the world , all of this is okay. As a woman in Christ , it’s almost like I’m walking on eggshells because of what the next sister might think of me. Yes , I know what you’re thinking !!! WHO CARES WHAT THEY SAY!

It’s all been a process. I actually came to Christ excited. Excited to go on this journey with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and immediately realized it would just be me and God, 80% of the time. I believe God gives us friendships, but, I also believe sometimes you have to separate yourself for a season. Sometimes , you need time to be with God all by yourself. Revelation, ideas, breakthrough , freedom, and deliverance all happen at the feet of Jesus.

One thing that I’m noticing is that a lot of people are okay with you coming to Christ. They aren’t okay with you growing spiritually and becoming confident in who God created you to be. As long as your stagnant you’re not a threat. As long as you’re not producing fruit, you’re not a threat. As long as the devil can keep you going to church every week without you going before God’s presence the other 6 days of the week, you’re not a threat.

You’re only a threat when you know who you are. When you allow God to transform you from the inside out. When you’re bold. When you’re confident. When you love the person God created you to be. When you go to college when no one else in your family did. When you start a business and have no idea how you will succeed because you’ve never seen anyone do it. When you preach the Gospel with BOLDNESS. When you make a decision to not get in a relationship just because it’s the ” adult ” thing to do. You’re a threat when you don’t follow anybody’s voice but GOD’S. You’re a threat when you cannot be used. You’re a threat when you SPEAK UP for the voiceless.

If you’re dealing with any opposition , you’re not alone. You are exactly where you need to be. God created you in his image, you lack nothing. Everything you need to move forward is in the inside of you. The same spirit that rose Jesus from the dead lives in you, YOU HAVE POWER.

Mute the noise and keep your eyes on Jesus. This world has distractions everywhere you turn. The enemy uses people to throw darts at your confidence , but God called you holy as he is HOLY. I pray for HOLY boldness and HOLY confidence to fill your life and everything that you lay hands on .

No weapon formed shall prosper.

God, purge me.

You can’t grow in pride .

Pride makes you feel like you know it all.

If you know it all, you don’t need God.

God literally works everything out for our good.

Even in pride he reveals to us that we in fact, Don’t know it all.

In our dry place he reveals to us that he is indeed the only one that can fill us until we overflow.

In our dark moments Gods power is revealed.

We can get so sidetracked . Being holier than thou. Forgetting what it’s all about. Forgetting how you first felt when you came to Christ . The joy, the freedom, the peace, the love , the overflow of grace. Soon after that comes a process.

A process of healing. A process of growing. A process of stepping out on faith. A process of going through pride , loneliness, fear , and shame.

God’s power works best in weakness . It is when we our weak that he reveals to us who he really is. In our weakness he covers us. In our weakness he graces us. In our weakness he forgives us . In our weakness he heals us.

We must be real with ourselves. We will never know it all. Lord , help us to stay humble. Reveal your nature to us. Fill us with your love , peace, mercy and forgiveness. Let your will be done in our lives. Replace our desires with yours. Change us. Have your way. You’re worthy. We give you glory.

The process is where we learn . The process is where we grow. The process is where we our tested. The process is where God sees if he can trust us or not. Even the process can be used for his glory. The highs and the lows. Nothing is ever wasted .

Romans 8:28

Dropping my Religion.

We often times get caught up in working for God instead of seeking God. When we seek God, he changes us. He transforms us from the inside out.

I often see that we start working for GOD before we are transformed. We start putting all our energy into everything , but, our own transformation. When we allow God to change us from the inside out , that’s when we will have breakthroughs. There’s beauty in serving the world. Servanthood is a posture of the heart. Our hearts must be changed . If our hearts are not changed, we will assume that our works is the reason God loves us. Truth is, God loves you before you do anything . Works doesn’t save you. Intimacy with Christ saves you. Faith saves you. Repentance saves you. Everything else is just what flows out of your relationship with Christ .

You will have no problem serving when you’re intimate with Christ .

You will have no problem tithing when your heart is transformed.

You will have no problem helping when you seek God.

We got this all wrong. It’s not in the works where we see God’s glory. It’s in the seek. Out of that seek you will work and out of those works you will see his glory. Works without seeking Christ is just works.

Click on my video below to watch my YouTube video on Dropping My Religion …

https://youtu.be/UjE2ms4c1cg

God is too good.

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Sometimes, you don’t see God. Sometimes, you are angry at God. Sometimes, you hate the process. Sometimes, you cannot make sense of what is happening. Sometimes, you doubt. Sometimes, you want to give up. In the midst of the trials, God is still good.

I remember being on fire for God earlier this year. I was ready to walk into purpose 100%. Fear was gone. Then.. my cousin overdosed.

This one was personal. I wanted him to win this battle so bad. I knew his struggles. I knew how bad he wanted to overcome. I knew he was doing his best. But, he lost the fight. I tried to understand it. I was in denial. I was angry. I was sad. I was questioning God. I was confused. Just when I was making progress this took the wind out of me. I threw my hands in the air and told myself I was done trying.

I knew I wasn’t done. I know my cousin wouldn’t have wanted me to stop. If anything, him not being here is a reason for me to go even harder. Addiction is one of those topics that I will never stop talking about. From my personal experience to seeing how it destroys lives, I will never stop talking about the power of God.

In the midst of it all, God is still too good. He never left me. At times, when I want to pick up the bottle again, I know I can’t. I know the next time I won’t be so lucky. 2018, I got me back, but, I lost one of my cousins. It still hurts. One thing is for sure , I can’t give up. I can’t change what has happened. I can only change me. Time doesn’t stop.

Sometimes, I want to do something that’s a little bit easier. Something that does not require me to be vulnerable and real. But, I know this is what I’m here for. I’m here to transform my life to show others that it can be done. Someone somewhere needs to see me overcome. I can’t give up, someone is depending on me.

If you are in the midst of a trial, don’t give up. Prayer is your weapon. Trust God. Someone needs you. You are an answer. The sun will shine again.