Leaving you for me .

It’s okay to be tired.

It’s okay to ask yourself , how in the world did I let this happen?

It’s okay to not have all the answers.

It’s okay to be scared.

You know what’s not okay? Letting someone mistreat you.

Love doesn’t neglect you.

Love doesn’t make you feel less than.

Love doesn’t silence you.

Love is suppose to grow you, not kill you slowly.

You may think you’re in love but you’re dying on the inside. That man hasn’t hugged you or held you in forever. You think sex is love so you stay.

“ well he does come from a broken home”

“He’s had a bad past”

“ he doesn’t know how to love”

“He doesn’t have anybody”

The excuses we make. The denial. We deny our whole being as women in hopes of making someone else happy.

You know the saying, women aren’t rehabilitation centers from broken men.

Silent treatments. Stonewalling. Telling you to STFU. Calling you stupid. Throwing your imperfections in your face. Comparing you with other women. Flirting with other women. Abusing you in such a subtle way that you’re paranoid and so out of touch with yourself that you’re the one that’s made out to look unstable.

How did we get here? How did I get here?

Boundaries . Standard. We had none.

we don’t lower our standards to make someone else comfortable. We set standards and allow people to rise up to them.

Jesus never died for his daughters to be mistreated. Jesus died for you to know that he SEES YOU. Jesus died for you to be free.

So many of us have never been loved well. We are dying to be wrapped up in a man’s arms that we are willing to lay in bed with the devil just to feel some type of warmth.

We all tell each other , KNOW YOUR WORTH GIRL! But let’s be real here. No one deserves to be abused , whether you know your worth or not.

For every woman being gaslighted.

For every woman that’s experiencing cognitive dissonance.

For every woman saying “ how did I let this happen to me , I knew better”.

For every woman blaming herself for a man’s actions.

For every woman that feels like she’s not enough because he doesn’t know how to love.

IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S HIM.

You are me and I am you.

Im still standing by the grace of God and God alone .

You know that scripture about everything else fading away but the Word Of God standing forever? THAT IS A FACT!

The Word of God has brought me above water when I was drowning. The Word is like CPR. Any time I have a panic attack or anxiety starts to cripple me I go to THE WORD. Even if it’s one scripture, one song, one word from God , take that AND HOLD ON TO IT!

The devil is a liar and YOU WILL SURVIVE AND THRIVE. See, I wish I could say that it’s not going to hurt and that you’re Going to be okay as soon as you give it to God, but to be real , you might have to go through a process.

The Lord may be trying to reveal something to you. The Lord may want you to obey him in some area. Pain has ALWAYS brought me to the only one that can comfort me.

It’s easy to go and seek peace and healing in your abuser, but we know it’s temporary. The love bombing is temporary . It’s all temporary. The monster will come out sooner or later.

For every woman suffering,

For every woman that feels stuck,

I SEE YOU AND IM PRAYING FOR YOU !!

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD AND I HAVE EVERYTHING THAT I NEED!! What the enemy meant for evil the Lord will use for his glory !!

You can never be too far gone for the Lord! That’s why I love Jesus !!! The world may fail, people may fail us, BUT GOD NEVER WILL.

Believe again, even if it’s as small as a mustard seed. HOPE AGAIN, even if it’s a tad . That’s all you need .

You are needed in this world! Don’t give up.

YOU GOT THIS!

Philippians 4:13 🙌🙏💕

Life.

Life has a way of dimming our light.

Life has a way of killing our joy.

Life can take your hope.

Life can take your happiness.

Life can take your peace.

Life can wear you down to such a point that you stop believing.

Life can keep you in a cycle of addiction and bad relationships.

The pains of life can hurt . Making it almost impossible to get back up.

Heck, sometimes you don’t even want to fight because giving up is easier .

When it seems like you have to fight just to stay alive , it can drain you. You start thinking maybe it’s better this way. The place of lack is my comfort zone. I don’t know any other way to live anyway.

We start believing the enemy’s lies. Our faith becomes distant. We believe but like we believe in Jesus that rose Again, but not the Jesus that can heal and restore like it never happened AND GIVE ME BACK 100x more .

See , the part about faith we often ignore , is the one that matters the most .

Blind faith. when you don’t know any thing. You don’t know how it’s going to happen. You don’t know how it’s all going to work out . You don’t know how you will afford the new apartment. You don’t know if you’ll ever meet your husband. You don’t know if you’ll ever laugh again. You don’t know if you’ll ever be FREE, again. You don’t know how long it’s going to take. You don’t know if living in abundant life is really possible. You start doubting. You want to act in faith but fear paralyzes you.

DID GOD REALLY SAY???

How many times has that one question paralyzed you dead in your tracks feeling like your feet were literally stuck in cement?

The Lord is faithful! And one thing I know him to be is a deliverer. When I wanted to kill myself, he was there. When I wanted to keep sleeping around and drinking myself to sleep , he was my comforter !

When I felt rejected and abandoned , he was there .

When I felt like I was all alone in this huge world, he was there. GOD IS ALWAYS WITH ME JUST AS HE IS WITH YOU.

I always like to say that God never leaves us. We leave him. Any time I go backwards and return with a repentant heart I feel his love and grace all over me.

See, God is not looking at your perfection. He’s waiting on you to stop leaning on your own understanding and REALLY live a life of FAITH.

Not a life where we just go to church for an hour and a half . But, a life full of FAITH AND OBEDIENCE . A life seeking his face . Doing what he’s telling us to do without trying to figure out the how’s to everything.

Just do it . We think ourselves into worry. We think ourselves into fear .

The whole time God is just waiting on me and you to trust him with our whole lives for real. It’s never boring living for the Lord . He will always have us on an adventure , but rest assured , THAT WE ARe NEVER ALONE !!!!

One of my favorite scriptures is when Jesus himself was asking for the cup of suffering to pass him, BUT NOT MY WILL BUT YOURS. Jesus GAVE UP HIS LIFE willingly.

We automatically assume that Jesus was not like me and you. We assume that HE WANTED TO DIE For us because he did . In that prayer , we see that Jesus was looking for a way out !!! But there was no way out ! HE WAS LITERALLY THE ANSWER TO EVERY HUMAN ISSUE ON THIS PLANET.

Be encouraged ! It’s going to be hard , but you’re not alone. Ask God for grace . Ask God to guide you and lead you every step of the way. Do it scared anyway.

Think about it like this, what do you really have to lose by being faithful?

Nothing. Step out on faith .

Pain.

Pain is everywhere. Being a human being means at some point or another you will feel some type of pain that cannot be explained.

Pain that makes you feel heavy. A burden you can’t seem to shake. Whether it’s pain from your past , present or the unexpected pain of not knowing what your future holds. We all know pain.

For some of us , pain is all we know. We don’t know a life of joy, peace and liberty. All we know is pain.

The pain of not having what you think you need. The pain of someone leaving you. The pain of not having enough money. The pain of betrayal. The pain of heartbreak. The pain of lost friendships. The pain of being born into dysfunction. The pain of addiction. The pain of not liking yourself. The pain of wanting to win when everything and everyone seems like it’s against you.

Is life without excruciating pain possible? I don’t think so . Life is going to happen to all of us. How will we deal with what we are dealt with? How will we handle the betrayal? How will we handle the death of a loved one? THE CROSS OF JESUS CHRIST.

Let’s be honest for a second, sometimes, believing in Jesus Christ comes with pain. The messiah , the savior of the whole world was REJECTED ! It comes with the territory. When we choose to love and live for Jesus, the attacks will come. Darkness hates the light , so STAY ANCHORED IN CHRIST . It’s the only way.

It’s so easy to get comfortable. We start settling in our pain. We start denying who God created us to be so we can fit in with what and who’s popular . But, what if God created you to stand out and be a voice shouting in the wilderness? What if you are the voice of hope? What if your the voice that this world needs right now?

Pain has a way of making us desperate for change.

When all you know is pain, you don’t really have anything to lose. So why not go hard in for what you believe in? Why not go hard in giving the world the hope it so badly needs? Why not go hard to pass laws where we can thrive as a nation and help our brothers and sisters?

Life is but a vapor , will your life count?

Or will we keep complaining. Will we keep crying about the past ? Will we keep dwelling in the pain of betrayal and heartbreaks? OR , will we go to the cross with everything that we have and let God deal with things accordingly. There’s only so much that me and you can do when it comes to how people act and treat us. The only thing we can do is not tolerate it , pray for them and be led by the Holy Spirit in all things.

Not in the things that only feel safe to us , but the things that STRETCH US. The things that challenge us to become like Christ so people can see the Jesus in us on earth. It’s going to take commitment . It’s going to take dying to self.

Idk about you, but the pain of living for my own selfish needs and desires is not even worth it . Even though we share in the suffering of Jesus when we choose to live for him, there’s a GLORY that only comes from living In him. That’s what we forget, you’re not missing anything living for him, you’re gaining everything that you will ever need.

The world needs you. We need hope. We need light. We need life changing encounters. We need a breath of fresh air in the earth , and I truly believe that will come when we say YES .

Yes to Jesus.

Yes, to our assignment .

Yes, to what God wants you to do.

Yes, to the things that make you uncomfortable, but also the things that will change you and change the world.

BE ENCOURAGED !

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever! Amen.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:6-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Zombies.

Alive but dead.

What are you doing?

How are you living your life?

Are you full of vitality or are you barely getting through your days?

Do you find joy in the regular things of life?

I see how easy it is for our joy and peace to be snuffed out.

I often ask God this question,

Lord, why was I born in America?

We are full of greed, pride, envy , selfishness , and ambition that gets us nowhere but run down and tired.

We are mentally exhausted.

Dinner at the table is non existent.

Social media takes priority in our social gatherings.

We are busy chasing the American dream and keeping up with everyone else that we totally lost the true joy of being alive.

Rich but dead .

We have all the cool new gadgets but dead.

Nice houses but dead.

Dope Instagram pics but dead.

Its easy to fall into this trap. It’s what we “ think “ we are all supposed to be doing , but yet everyone is so lost.

Everyone is so dead. Since when did being an adult have to come with misery? You know what really happened ?

we stopped being grateful.

We stopped loving without expectations.

We stopped dancing.

We stopped singing.

We stopped sitting at the dinner table.

We stopped going outside and enjoying nature.

We stopped being children at heart .

Why are we so serious? Why are we striving so hard? Yes , be responsible. God calls us to be good stewards over our lives , not greedy and ambitious for our own selfish gain.

It’s so easy for our hearts to get cold and bitter.

It’s so easy to start comparing yourself and coveting what’s not yours. It’s also the easiest way for your light to be snuffed out.

My prayer for the rest of this year is that we come alive again. That we take time out to reevaluate our lives and water the parts that our dying to come to life.

When’s the last time you laughed until your stomach hurt?

When’s the last time you thanked God for running water and electricity?

When’s the last time you thanked God for the breath in your lungs?

When’s the last time you thanked God for the job you have?

The enemy wants to steal your joy, and you know how he does it ? By convincing you that your life isn’t all that. The devil is a liar. Idc how much money you make or how many things you own , we all go through the same type of suffering .

The one thing I learn time and time again is that Jesus breathes life into EVERYTHING. Without my hope and faith in Jesus Christ idk where I would be.

This world is too shallow. We aren’t suppose to live like this. There is more , but it’s not in what you see on Instagram. I challenge you to take a moment and ask God how did I become a walking zombie? Where did my joy go? where did my smile go? Breathe life again, Lord.

Life is precious . We need to stop waiting for it to be “ perfect “ and enjoy it right this second.

YeS, that man left you but it’s a blessing.

No, you don’t own a home but you can make that room or apartment your sanctuary.

No, you aren’t living your dream right now but what is God asking you to do today?

life is not perfect and guess what ? It will never be. YOU WILL ALWAYS WANT MORE MONEY. You will always want a bigger house .

Let’s be intentional about not being so superficial.

If you’re not feeling like yourself , that’s okay. We went through a whole pandemic and felt like the world stood still for about 2 years. If you’re in a funk, that’s okay. Make a choice that this is not how the rest of the year will be .

Who cares if you don’t accomplish every single goal you set out, how’s your spirit? Are you alive? Or are you dead on the inside complaining about any and everything?

The Lord is MY SHEPHERD AND I LACK NOTHING!

Come alive, Again.

Broken life.

Everyone tells you sin is bad for you. Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand. Since we were kids, that’s all that has been embedded in our brains. we grow up feeling like there has to be more, because if I’m being honest , sin feels so damn good when you’re broken hearted.

Sin feels good when life is hard.

Sin feels good when you feel alone.

Sin feels good when you no longer find peace in the God you once fell in love with.

The pain is too much. I just want to be numb. I’m tired of feeling.

Lord I love you but I’m tired. As tears roll down my face, all I can think about was the adulterous woman and how Jesus said “ let him without sin cast the first stone” . I caught myself full of shame. Why is it that we are so quick to talk about people that fall? When the Bible calls us to restore people back to The FATHER. Why do we take the easy way out and just leave people alone. The one in shame and condemnation gets consumed with thoughts like …

How can I? Why do I want Whats bad for me instead of what the Holy Spirit has in store for me? Is what I believe in even real? Is this walk even worth it ? It’s too painful. People don’t really care about your pain. Everyone keeps telling me that God loves me , there’s grace for that. But we already know this, what we so badly crave is RESTORATION.

See, sin is just a cover up. Sin is anything that takes you away from God. God never distances himself from us but Jesus said , abide in me and I will abide in you. Jesus already did everything he needed to do. The rest is up to us. Laying our life down and picking up the cross that Christ calls each and every one of us to carry. The only way out of sin is purpose. The only way out of sin is to die to your WHOLE LIFE .

We think we can die in one area but not the other. If you’re trapped in a sin cycle , it’s not that you don’t love God , it might just be that you are holding on to something that the Lord is calling you to give to him.

I trusted God to deliver me from addiction to alcohol, depression and suicide thoughts, but I can’t trust him to make we a wife and a mother?

As a woman I desire to be a wife . As a woman I desire to be a mother. But I’m doing it all in my own strength. I’m choosing the same type of men again. Im leading with my body , instead of letting the spirit lead. He feels good to my body , but he’s not good for my spirit.

This man is killing my spirit but it’s the one I crave. I’m consumed by the desires of the flesh. I don’t trust God enough to take a break from dating so he can do what only he can do in me and through me . It’s only in the mighty power of Jesus Christ that we can be restored back to Gods original design.

Sin is not worth it. I know you feel like this is the only man you can get. I know you feel like what if it doesn’t happen for me? I know you feel like well This is the only love I’ve experienced so maybe this is all I can get.

Listen to me sister in Christ . I am you and you are me . We are in this together. There is no condemnation in those who are in Christ Jesus.

I’m sharing this in hope that you will allow God to breathe life in you again. You are not who you are when you act out because of pain. Because guess what? YOU ARE STILL CHOSEN AND GOD STILL WANTS TO USE YOU FOR HIS GLORY!!!!

It’s time for the women of God to get out of their own way and give up the things that are killing them. IF ITS KILLING YOU, ITS NOT OF GOD!!!

Come out from among them and be ye separate. Somewhere along the way you kept giving in to your flesh and now you feel so far away from God. Just come back home, he’s waiting.

Come back home. ❤️🙏

Keep your promises.

How upset do you get when someone makes a promise to you and then breaks it?

If you’re anything like me, you can’t stand it.

How could they?

Why would they say it if they didn’t mean It?

What’s so hard about keeping your word?

We can go on and on and on about the things that go on in our head when others don’t follow through.

Can I ask you a question? When’s the last time you let you down? When’s the last time you told yourself you were going to do something, but , you never followed through?

Whether it’s spending more time with God.

Whether it’s drinking more water.

Whether it’s treating your body like a temple.

Whether it’s ending the situation or relationship that you know is not God sent.

Whether it’s waking up early enough to get to work on time.

WHAT ARE YOUR PERSONAL CONVICTIONS THAT YOU KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM?

What’s God calling you to do that you keep putting off?

Do you not know that we are being made into the image of Christ? That’s an on going process until the day we leave these earthly bodies.

Do you also not know that the reason why most of us stay stagnant is because we keep pushing off what we know we need to do?

Why are we so hard on other people , but yet walk around very nonchalant about our own lives?

Why do we go out of our way for others but can’t even do what we need to do to be better for the people we are called to pour into.

It’s so much easier to pour out when you’re obedient. It’s so much easier to give back when you’re fully confident in who God created you to be. What if the confidence you need is tied to your obedience? What if everything you need is tied to keeping your promises to yourself?

Only you know what you and God talk about every single day. When I’m frustrated and I’m focused on myself , most of my prayers sound the same. It’s all about what I want . When I stop thinking about myself and ask God ,

“what do you want me to do?”

I have two options, ignore or obey.

God knows what’s best for us. Jesus was tempted in every way possible , still obeyed . Jesus was not liked , still obeyed. What if the life you keep praying about is tied to you doing those things you keep running from?

I believe somewhere along the way, people forgot to tell us that we need to work hard for what we want. Whether it’s a better relationship with Christ or whether it’s taking care of your body, ITS ALL GOING TO REQUIRE A DYING TO SELF.

As I was driving home today and praying out loud, the Holy Spirit revealed something to me ,

If you’re tired of being where you are , you’re going to have to get used to saying no to what makes the flesh feel good.

In that very moment, every single thing that I was worried about , disappeared. My problems were my problems because I wasn’t following the Shepherd. I wasn’t following Jesus. I was trying to control every single aspect of my life. Jesus said lose your life and you will find it. Oh, how badly do we try to cling to our own destructive ways.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but, I know that a lot of us are fighting battles because we can’t tell ourselves no to what’s killing us. Say no to yourself and yes to God. Whatever he keeps talking to you about , just do it . Stop putting it off. Do it scared. Keep praying. KEEP SEEKING. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Whatever you do, don’t give up.

Be kind to yourself and know this, the same Spirit that resurrected Jesus from the dead lives in you. You are equipped to do what the Lord wants you to do. One day at a time.

Wake up every day and ask the Lord what he wants you to do today? You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Put your faith and trust back into the only one who can keep you, sustain you, and push you forward.