Fear of greatness !

Why do we fear being great?

We don’t really say we don’t want to be great, but, our actions say otherwise. Or maybe the words we speak to ourselves say so. Or maybe even the thoughts no one else knows of say so.

Have you ever caught yourself saying ,

Who am I kidding?

I can’t do that .

Who do I think I am?

That can’t happen for me.

Let me stop dreaming and get back to reality.

Can it be that you really do fear being great? How can we fear being great you might say, easy. We stop ourselves before we even begin.



WE KNOW! the problem is that most of us procrastinate and make excuses. We make excuses because it’s hard to rewire your brain. You have to make an effort to retrain your mind. For 30 years you thought one way , so now that you want to change you’re faced with A LOT of resistance . Why? Your brain is used to doing things one way.

We don’t think to walk, drive , eat, make excuses , gossip, pick up our phones, type , text, talk, go to work, we just do it.

We don’t think about habits we already put in place to protect us from pain. If I don’t want to have a confrontation, I ignore the person. If I don’t want to feel, I get a drink or go have sex . These are habits we pick up along the way. This is everything we have to unlearn.

We all want to be great. We all want to produce fruit. But do we really want to pay the cost?

That’s the question.

If we truly get real with ourselves , we will find out that most of us are scared of being great. Being great requires a different you! The you now and the GREAT you is not the same person, THAT IS WHAT WE FEAR.

We fear changing . We fear a different language . We fear a different thought process. We fear a workout regimen . We fear getting up early . We fear greatness because we’ve never done it !

I want to encourage you tonight, to do it scared!

You have everything that it takes because Jesus Christ lives on the inside of you! Greater is he that is in you than he that’s in the world!!

Do it until the fear goes away, because IT WILL.

Kobe Bryant .

The whole world is mourning the death of a basketball legend.

You know what I see?

I see a man that gave it his all.

I see a man that conquered a lot in 41 years.

41 years is not old.

You’ve only been an adult for 23 years.

In 23 years this man showed us what it truly means to work hard.

Kobe showed us to show up even when you don’t feel like it .

Kobe showed us what discipline looks like.

One time he said , if you aren’t here to win then what are we playing for ?

Y’all, that’s a whole sermon right there!

Sometimes , I feel like we walk around like zombies. We walk around in our pain. We own our baggage. We keep our emotional baggage because it’s safe. It’s all we know. We hold on to grudges. We hold on to bitterness. We hold on to anger. We hold on to toxic. We hold on because at least we know what we have . Letting go means you’re opening up to the unknown. Faith is literally walking out and saying if God is for me who can be against me. I don’t know where I’m going but God you got me, lead me.

Oh Lord, May you give us the strength to just let it all go and put you first. To give life our best shot . We don’t know when it’s our time. We assume we will live long. We live like we have all the time in the world , but , life is but a vapor. Here today , gone tomorrow .

I celebrate the man that Kobe was. I celebrate his legacy. I celebrate his hard work and dedication. I celebrate his commitment. I celebrate him for being an example. I celebrate him for being more than a basketball player. I celebrate him for retiring and still making an impact on people instead of checking out and chillen on a yacht. I celebrate him for showing us that when you love what you do , you make no excuses. You get it done. You do it with all you have.

Will you keep making excuses?

Or , will you finally stay committed to that thing even when you don’t ” feel ” like it?

Someone somewhere needs your story. Your wisdom. Your boldness. Your strength. Your commitment. Your example.

Let’s take the focus off of us and focus on ,

How can I do my part and make this world better ?

I’m tired of waiting !

Hey girl!

I know you’re tired.

I know you’re sick of doing it all alone.

I know you want a man.

I know you want the masculine energy around.

I know you want to meet your best friend.

I know you’re tired of dating apps.

I know you’re tired of being disappointed.

I know you’re tired of telling men how to treat you.

I know you’re tired of leading.

I know you’re TIRED.


God sees you. REST. Take a break.

One thing that I often see within us single women is that we get caught up in ” dating “. Dating can be a major distraction , especially if you haven’t been completely delivered and set free in Jesus name.

If you know you struggle with lust, you need Jesus.

If you know you’re feeling lonely, you need Jesus.

If you’re tired of being rejected, you need Jesus.

One thing doing it my own way has taught me is that all I need is Jesus. Every time I fall I hear , ” wake up Cristal , you know this way doesn’t work ” . So I repent. Let go of whatever I need to let go of and go back to the feet of Jesus.

You know what happens when we have no distractions? We have to deal with us. We can’t run away from what God wants to do in and through us. we choose to date to distract ourselves from ourselves. I get it , I really do.

But guess what? A double minded man is unstable in all of his ways. This is why you can’t think straight , because you have one foot in and one foot out. We live like we don’t believe God is going to come through. He is !! Surrender. Give it all to him. Let him prune you . Obey his instructions. Life is bigger than having a man.

I know your desire to be married is real but please understand this one thing, life is not stopping for you. Seek Jesus, surrender , and obey. That’s what’s going to get you through .

God bless! You’re never alone 💗

Stop marrying men with no vision.

You know what makes me shake my head? The way we glorify marriage but don’t prepare for it.

I’ve had my share of relationships and you know what I know? I know everything that does not work.


We assume that just because men work and pay bills that he has done his share of being a man/husband. No.

There is more.

Think about the rest of your life? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life clocking in and clocking out , coming home, watching tv , eating and going to bed ?

What drives you? What drives him? What are you guys passionate about ? What makes you excited? These are very important things to know. Two people that have a vision know they are going somewhere, not guessing.

Yes, he looks good but can he pray?

Yes , he looks good but does he know what God created him for ?

I don’t believe we were all created for super big assignments, but, I do believe we were all created on purpose for a purpose. Every single person is on the earth for a reason. We are not a mistake ! So , why are we living our lives with no vision? We perish because we have no vision.

We get depressed because we have no vision.

We lose hope because we have no vision.

We get anxious because we have no vision.

All vision is a plan. A plan that we must execute. Not day dream about but execute.

God put us on here to work and meet each other’s needs. We are here to love and add value to each other’s lives . The reason I believe the divorce rate is so high is because people are unequally yoked. We think ” love” is enough to sustain. Love is a choice , yes. But, I also believe that the reason people are so quick to leave is because they don’t have a solid foundation.

I recall all my failed relationships and none of them were solid. They were all built on lust and materialism. None of them were built on purpose for a purpose. This is why it’s so easy for us to walk away. It’s not deep enough. It has no meaning.

If you know you’re building something for the kingdom of God,

If you know you’re building something for future generations,

you will not give up. You know it’s bigger than you. You know this is for Gods glory and not yours.

We must really think when we date and marry. We need to have a clear vision. I believe that God will send you someone that matches your vision and purpose. A helpmate. Not someone you have to drag along.

Let this be the year we put God above relationships and seek him so he can add what he needs to, accordingly. You have a vision with or without a spouse. You don’t have to wait . Pursue God. He will never fail you. God will not send you a project . Guard your heart at all times.

No one is perfect but it won’t be forced. You will know it’s for you. Peace that surpasses all understanding is your portion when you are in the will of God.

God bless and happy new year! 🎊

Do the one thing.

Things may not get easier , but , you will get stronger.

Your situation may be the same, but, your perspective may be different.

So many things are tugging at our hearts.

Whether it be family, school, work, social media, tv , gossip blogs, etc ; something is always pulling at our hearts. So many things and people want our attention.

We log on to social media day after day, minute after minute , only to see the same posts over and over.

Can I challenge you tonight?

Can I challenge you to log off?

Can I challenge you to pray instead?

Can I challenge you to go before God in prayer and ask him to reveal what’s been taking his place in your heart?

Can I challenge you to let go of the things that really don’t matter and pursue all the things that do?

Can I challenge you to stop settling for regular , kick fear in the face and flourish?

Can I challenge you to just be vulnerable for a second?

Can I challenge you to just drop the mask and really deal with you?

Y’all.. I know life is calling. I know it’s easier to run away from the reality of your life and into the distractions of this world.

I know how easy it is to run, but you know what happens when I run?

I get irritable. I get anxious. I get annoyed. I get frustrated. I get angry. I’m quick to lash out. Wanna know why?

Because I’m running in the wrong direction. I’m frustrated because I know I need to do something, but, fear has me saying NO! It’s a never ending cycle of frustration. I suffer and the people around me suffer .

You know what kills those feelings? Doing what you know you have to do. You know those things that we feel in our belly. Those things that make you cringe because you just ain’t got time for it right now . Those things that just seem way too difficult, yeah, THAT.

Just start. I’m talking to you and me . I know girl. I know it’s tough. I know you’re confused. I know you don’t know how it’s going to happen. You know what I do know?

That when God created the world he spoke to it. Step by step. He didn’t just say ” EARTH DO YOUR THING ” . He spoke to it and it obeyed. Everything came into alignment after he spoke. What is God saying to you tonight? Are you willing to just do that. Just do the one thing you know you have to do. Start there .

God bless you! You’re not alone 💕


I remember being in the psych ward in 2015.

I was so over life.

I lost hope.

I started thinking about ways to just end it all.

I saw no point in living.

If I was created to work, pay bills , and do the same thing over and over again until I die , I wanted no parts.

I kept drinking to numb the pain. I kept dating randoms to ease the pain. I used sex to numb the pain. I didn’t know why I was still alive. All I knew was that these reckless activities made life worth living at the moment. As long as I had a man, I was good. As long as I was drinking, I was good. As long as I was having sex, I was good.

My experience at the hospital wasn’t what I thought it would be. I thought they would help me. I thought they would really care. I thought that they would talk to me to help me get to the core issue of why I was so damn depressed.

But .. no.

I was given antidepressants.

Being around other patients made me want to stay around those that were like me. I didn’t want to leave the hospital because it was safe. Nothing bad could happen. I didn’t have to worry about how my life was in shambles because I didn’t have to deal with life. It was almost like I made an exit to this peaceful place where you go to bed early, take your meds, watch tv and color. But is that really living? Nope.

I was out of there in 3 days. Here’s why. I lied.

I told them I was no longer suicidal. They set up appointments for me to go to an outpatient alcohol program and to go see a psychologist, plus a prescription to continue antidepressants. That’s it. Guess what? I went to neither and I never got my meds. At that point I knew I couldn’t trust the system to help me.

I don’t believe we get depressed or anxious for no reason. I don’t believe in chemical imbalances because that can be altered by life experience, exercise, purpose and healing. So , is it REALLY a chemical imbalance or are we just too lazy to REALLY help people with their problem?

A part of me is happy that we are getting to a place where mental health is talked about on the regular. The only problem I have is that a lot of us are accepting our diagnosis for life. We are accepting that this is life and nothing we do can change it . That’s a lie.

I just saw a commercial for another pill that helps with the side effects of antidepressants. Please explain to me how given someone with suicide thoughts an antidepressant that may increase suicide thoughts is of any help? And on top of that we have the audacity to create another pill that helps decrease the suicidal thoughts. So not only are you super depressed but now you’re taking 2 pills that are taking a toll on your body and covering up your symptoms.

All I know is that antidepressants are not the answer. If you’ve lost hope and you don’t want to the work because it just seems like A LOT , I understand. I get it . It takes a lot to come out of a dark place. You need to put in the work. Get up after falling and try again.

As a woman of God I can’t give the credit to medicine at all. Not only because I feel like most, if not , ALL of our issues are heart and soul issues. Jesus often talked about confession ( therapy/ safe groups) . Jesus often talked about community ( Church/friends/accountability). Jesus often talked about repentance ( forgiveness, letting go and moving forward).

We are weighed down by life’s problems. We are weighed down by our own choices. We are weighed down by the things people have done to us. We are weighed down by comparison. We are weighed down by poverty and low self esteem. you name it and we are weighed down by it.

I believe that we all can be healed and live a life of freedom. It takes daily work. Daily surrender. It takes time. 3 years into my journey and I’m still healing, forgiving, letting go and as a human on this earth, I continue to get hurt. Whether it’s intentional or unintentional, it happens. Life happens to all of us . We have to make up in our minds that we can overcome by the Blood of Jesus.

If you need to start on medicine , cool. If you need to talk it out , go talk it out. But please understand that you don’t have to live like that forever. Jesus restores , he saves and he redeems . This world cannot add to you. This world can’t heal you. Our jobs can’t heal us. Our money can’t heal us. Our big houses can’t heal us.

You know what heals us, LOVE. We all need to be LOVED. I pray that everyone reading this knows that you are worthy of being loved. I pray for you to have the strength to leave toxic things in your life. I pray you come across Godly, genuine and loving people that don’t want to change anything about you, but love you just as you are ! Because you my friend are worthy of that and more.

I pray for peace, joy and love to flood your life. I pray morning comes now. I pray for heaviness to fall off and for your joy to shine through.

Yes, you may have been through some things but that’s not who you are, it’s just what you’ve been through. Don’t label yourself. Take the labels others have put on you and throw them out . You are a Kings kid and we are called to live prosperous lives. Our souls need rest. Our soul will prosper. Surrender. ❤️🙏