Finding out our why is so important.
Why do you over eat?
Why do you drink so much?
Why do you feel like you NEED a man/woman?
Why do you want a whole box of donuts?
Why do you spend money you don’t have ?
Why do you feel like you’re not worthy?
Why do you settle for safe?
WHY WHY WHY????
In my recovery I have realized one thing, when you figure out your why, everything else makes perfect sense. When you figure out your why, NOW you can start working on making changes. For example, I was drinking daily because I didn’t want to face reality. I didn’t want to deal with life, I was scared. Why was I scared? I failed a lot of times already , my support system wasn’t solid, I didn’t think I could succeed in life. I settled for safe.
I come from a very strong puertorican family. Everyone works hard for what they have and no one speaks about their feelings. This is life, you deal with it , work hard and do the best you can. That’s not me at all. If I don’t talk about what’s going on inside me my life spirals out of control. Growing up I had good parents, I never needed for nothing. Later on I realized , I needed them emotionally. I needed their love. I needed their support. I needed guidance. Isn’t that what parents do , guide you and set you up to succeed in life? I don’t blame my parents , they didn’t know any better. Once I accepted the fact that my parents couldn’t give me what they never had , it changed my whole mindset.
See, it’s easier for us to play the victim. It’s easy for us to blame everyone else to take the focus off of us. Did my parents fail me? Maybe. But realistically I failed myself too. That was hard for me to accept. Some people come into this world to horrible situations and still make it by blocking everything out, I can’t do that. My mental health is very important to me. So for me, I need answers. I need to know why my parents didn’t do certain things. I need to know why I participated in things that were self destructive. I needed to know why I was having sex with men I wouldn’t even look at sober. I needed to know why I stayed in the same cycle year after year.
You will save yourself a lot of money in therapy sessions if you figure out your why. Therapy is great, it gives you a safe place to open up and face your feelings head on, but, let’s be honest! It’s EXPENSIVE!
I just wanted to share this one small tip with you all, why do you do the things you do and why do you deal with the things you deal with? Is it because you feel empty? Unworthy? Unlovable?
People hurt us. Honestly, most of the time they don’t mean too. We have all heard this before, hurt people hurt people. I know it’s hard , I know it hurts, but, YOU ARE AN OVERCOMER.