“You will never lose weight.”
“You can’t stay sober.”
“You’re nothing but a failure.”
“You will never be a good mom or wife.”
These are SOME of the many things that people have expressed to me. I know I lived a crazy life, I know I was heading in the wrong direction but sheesh! I’m almost 100% sure that calling me a failure did not make me want to get my ish together, at all. Words hurt. I don’t care what anyone says, WORDS HURT. Especially if they’re coming from your loved ones, those words cut deep. Your safe place, the ones that were suppose to protect you when the world got the best of you. It was never safe.
I knew I was a rebel. I knew I was angry. I knew my drinking was out of control. I knew I was a hot mess. But why didn’t anyone ever ask me why I was acting out? Why didn’t anyone ever believe in me? Why didn’t anyone ever hug me? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me it was going to be okay? I was lost . On top of being lost , I was told I was never going to succeed, why would I even try? I had no fight in me. I was tired. I was Waking up every day chasing the only high that made life worth living. Alcohol and sex gave me the excitement that I was craving. Life sucked at home , so I got drunk.
I believed lies. This whole time I believed that I was a failure. I believed that I wasn’t worth anything good in life. I almost gave up, ALMOST.
“ I CAN SUCCEED”
“I CAN LOSE WEIGHT”
“I CAN STAY SOBER”
“I WILL GET MARRIED ONE DAY”
“I WILL BE A GREAT MOM”
“I WILL WALK IN MY PURPOSE”
I AM NOT MY PAST. I am not that lost little girl seeking validation and approval. I am not HER. I have cried. I have screamed and I have lost my damn mind. After so much dysfunction and mental breakdowns , I finally realized that actually, I CAN!
I CAN DO IT ALL AND I WILL!
This world will tell you everything that you aren’t. BUT WILL NEVER TELL YOU EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE. Don’t believe the lies! YOU ARE NOT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU.
YOU ARE IMPORTANT.
YOU ARE BRILLIANT.
YOU ARE SPECIAL.
YOU ARE LOVABLE.
And the next time someone tells you that you can’t do something , kill them with kindness, smile and simply say…
ACTUALLY, I CAN.