Sometimes, I get nervous. How much is too much to share on social media? I don’t really know if anyone I know personally reads my blog. I do know that sometimes I want to hold back because I have no idea who’s reading. Then again, I know I’m not the only that struggles. In a social media crazed world we all know that you can definitely feel like you’re the only one that’s going through it when in reality we are all going through it at one point or another.
I know who I am. I know who God made me to be. I know what gifts he put within me. I’m able to speak about my struggles and share with you all everything that I have been through and everything that I continue to go through. Is it easy putting all my business out there all the time? Not at all. Sometimes, I don’t want to but I do it anyway. I know I’m not alone. I know a lot of us go through a whole bunch of different things. I do this to show others that they are never alone. I struggle with addiction , depression, self-doubt, and most times I think I’m unworthy.
I struggle with food as well. I know I need to lose weight. I know I need to get healthy. Being overweight is uncomfortable. I know once I get my eating habits and my mind under control things will be a lot different for me. I know I have to do this for me . I know I need to take care of me. I know I am not my past. I know I am not what people have called me . I know I’m so much more than what I think about myself. I have to admit, sometimes it’s just hard. Sometimes, I don’t want to do the right thing. Sometimes , I don’t want to pray. Sometimes, I just want to do whatever I want to do and deal with the consequences later. I know I can’t go back to my self-destructive behavior but theSe are the thoughts that I struggle with.
Right now, I’m just feeling how I feel. I’m taking care of my mental health. I’m taking things one day at a time and trusting God. Is it easy all the time ? Absolutely not, but, I refuse to go backwards. I will continue to strive to be the best person I can be so I can help the next person. I know who I am in Christ and I know what he put me on this earth for. I have purpose and I’m so much more than what this world thinks of me.
Own your truth. Your story is your story. God will work it all out for your good. Trust him. Have patience. I know it’s the hardest thing to do at times but be kind to yourself . You matter and someone in this world is counting on you.
God never promised us an easy life. As I hit my 30th birthday , I’m thankful. I’m thankful for being sober . I’m thankful for still being alive after many hospital visits and car accidents. I’m thankful that even though I have gotten my heart broken several times I’m still trusting God to write my perfect love story. Life has its ups and downs. I was down long enough, I’m ready to go up. I’m ready to walk into what God has for me. I’m ready to continue healing and growing. I’m ready for what God has in store for me this year and the years to come. I’m excited.
To anyone struggling, be patient . I know it’s hard. I know you want it to be over. I know you want to smile again. I know you want the pain to go away. I know you don’t know what to do . I know you’re just trying to figure out “why”? It’s okay. Be kind to yourself . Take a bath. Get a pedicure. Take your time. Heal. If no one else understands you, I do .
Freedom comes when we walk in our truth.
OWN YOUR TRUTH. ❤️