I think most of us settle because we don’t want to be alone. Lately, I’ve been dating and getting to know people and I know exactly what I want, yet, I keep entertaining someone who I don’t ever want to be in a relationship with. Why? I’m just bored at times and want company. It’s just that simple.
I’m used to dating and keeping people around just because I don’t have any potential candidates to take serious, so I’ll just entertain these people who aren’t relationship material until someone better comes along. I know that seems pretty selfish of me but I don’t think it is, as long as both of us are on the same page. Communication is key!
Now, my thought process is totally different. I don’t even want to entertain anyone that I don’t consider relationship material. I’ve been dating someone and since date 2 I already knew I could never be with this person. I know none of us are perfect, we all have flaws. Certain things I can tolerate, certain things I can’t. It’s totally up to you to decide what you want to deal with.
I caught myself staying in this situation because I hate feeling alone, he’s not a bad guy or anything he’s just not someone I would be with long-term. This is when settling comes in, I’m settling for someone who I don’t even like just so I don’t have to face being lonely. Loneliness is a b*tch! I hate it. Then I accepted the fact that solitude is not as bad as we make it out to be. I panic at the thought of just being alone. I have family of course but I can’t compare that to friends or a relationship, it’s just different. I decided to end things with this guy and I feel pretty good about making this decision. 😊
As women we need to understand that every man that we meet is not our Prince Charming, and that’s OKAY! Every time we meet someone new we get excited and start planning our whole future in a matter of seconds. Let’s be a little more realistic. I’ve been working on accepting everything for what it is and accepting people for who they truly are and it’s amazing. I feel a sense of freedom, I can’t control anyone but myself, once I accepted this it changed my whole life. I no longer try to change people, I no longer make excuses for people’s behavior , I choose what and who I want in my life. It’s amazing!
Solitude is great. I can focus on myself and do everything that genuinely makes me happy. I know at one point in my life I’m going to want the solitude I have now and I won’t be able to get it, so I am going to cherish this time alone. It took me a while to get here but I wouldn’t trade my journey for anything. It taught me some of the most valuable lessons about life, definitely a very humbling experience.
My depression taught me to appreciate the little things, to stop over thinking and just appreciate exactly where I am right now. I will not settle , I know exactly what I want out of life and I will achieve it all. I know I will meet my Prince Charming one day, everything happens for a reason and I’m not in a rush like I once was. I want to enjoy life, reach my goals, be happy, and enjoy this time on earth with the ones I love most.
Enjoy where you are right now. Everyone’s journey is different, we all struggle and we can all overcome are toughest battles, believe in YOU. Solitude isn’t bad , it’s actually pretty freaking awesome.
Appreciate it ❤️ Don’t settle
Language… has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.
Paul Johannes Tillich