Something happened this week that instantly made me want to write about it. When we go through certain things in life we often make excuses and think that things aren’t that bad, they can always be worse. Well yes, that’s true in some cases but not all. Today, I want to talk about emotional abuse, also known as psychological abuse. In case you aren’t familiar with it or you don’t know exactly what emotional abuse is, the definition is as follows;
a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.
Take a look at the picture above to get a good idea of what I am talking about.
THE PROBLEM THEY HAVE IS WITH THEMSELVES, NOT YOU. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL.
Recently, I had a pretty good conversation with someone. We took each others feelings into consideration and we explained things to each other the best way we could. I went to bed that day feeling content because for once I was finally getting the answers I wanted. Now, lets fast forward this to the next night. I had a pretty good day, I am relaxed and I get a message from the same individual I was talking to the day before. Let me just say that it was nowhere near like the conversation we had the day before. What I want to point out here is that this person reached out to me , I did not do the reaching out. The conversation was very cold and the person was making me feel like I was doing something wrong and then instantly blocked me so I could not reply to the message.
I really tried not to take it personal, reason being that this person is clearly going through something and wanted to pick a fight with me to satisfy themselves. This my friends, is abuse. I was in this relationship thinking that I was the one not good enough, the one messing up everything, the one that wasn’t pretty enough or fit enough. All those insecurities that he had were poured onto me which caused me to lose myself. Now, that I am in a much better state of mind, working on myself and taking care of me I can see things clearly and for what they really are.
Often, when we are in these toxic relationships we don’t think about our well-being. We think if this person changes, it would be better and we can live happily ever after. I know he/she cares about me but they’re just going through some things right now. Let me tell you one thing, healthy minded people don’t hurt you and make you feel less of yourself. You cannot change anyone, the minute someone starts mistreating you, leave. Don’t wait it out. It gets worse before it ever gets better.
Healthy minded people lift you up, respect you, make things clear, communicate, motivate you, take responsibility for their actions, and they definitely don’t walk around blaming everyone for their problems. Healthy minded people want to see you win in life and they definitely don’t play mind games with you.
One thing that I have learned in the last year is that people treat you how they feel. I honestly believe that some people are good people but life has turned them into something else. People are dealing with real issues within themselves which causes them to act the way they do. Happy people do happy things and lift others up. Unhappy people do the complete opposite.
Even though I had one of the biggest meltdowns I’ve ever had in my adult life I am thankful for it. I learned so much about myself and others. Everything in life is either a lesson or a blessing. Appreciate it all, forgive, let go, heal.
Right now I am currently healing. I have made so much progress recently that I finally feel good about myself. Sometimes in life you have to put your needs first, help yourself, feed your soul and lift yourself up to be the beautiful person you are meant to be.
ALWAYS REMEMBER.. DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL.
PEACE. LOVE. HAPPINESS.