We always hear that heartbreak is a part of life but are never taught how to handle a heartbreak. How am I suppose to move forward when the one I trusted and loved with every bit of me disrespected me and made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of his love? Yeah, it sounds great when everyone tells me I’m awesome and that I deserve someone who is going to treat me like a queen, but that doesn’t change the fact that I fell in love with someone who wasn’t capable of loving me back. Let me vent, let me be upset , let me cry but please don’t judge me. I know I have to leave him alone, I know I have to walk away, I know I can’t change him but what is a girl to do when she feels like her heart just got ripped out of her chest? How do I move on, how do I let go? One thing for sure, it is not by you judging me and telling me how silly I am for being so hopeful.
As a woman in today’s society, so much pressure is placed upon us. Why are you still single? Why don’t you have any kids yet? Why aren’t you married? I can debate all of this, but it’s so much deeper than that. Sometimes when you want something so bad you fall into the arms of someone who is nowhere near capable of giving you what you want. I was never the one to sugarcoat things and I was never the woman to say I can do bad all by myself because realistically, humans were never created to be alone. I was just a young woman wanting what every woman wants, a man to share her life with. Relationships and heart breaks are so full of lessons. When you are going through it you can never understand why this is happening to you, It only starts to make sense after you get through it. I can always say the relationship failed because of him, but why do I have to blame him? to make me feel better, absolutely not. I was hurt, and all I want to do is heal. I can’t heal if i bad mouth the next person. I’m not perfect and we all have our own flaws, never forget that. Sometimes we go through certain things because we allow it. If I would have walked away when i first saw signs of a dysfunctional individual I wouldn’t have gotten my heartbroken the way i did. But, its life. What am I going to do? Keep being mad at the person who hurt me? That’s only going to keep me unhappy and stuck in a place where I do not want to be.
We need to learn to forgive, you will never be free of anything until you learn to forgive the ones that hurt you the most. We need to understand that sometimes people hurt us because they are hurt. Everyone has their own issues and everyone faces different situations in life. You can blame others as to why you are the way you are but you will never be happy and you will never move forward. I want to be happy and at peace. I will never get there with hate in my heart. Even though, I do want the best for everyone , I want the best for myself.
This heartbreak has taught me to love myself before anything and that I can never love someone into loving me. We can never fix or change people. We all decide to change on our own, no one can do it for us. Some people don’t know how to love, some people have a lot of hate in their hearts and it is not your fault. We are all capable of receiving the love we deserve whether you believe you are worth it or not. Let go of all the hate and anger you have in your heart. I have been working on this and I have felt so much relief in letting things go. Don’t take everything personal, forgive, and understand that everyone is different. Accept people for who and what they are and work on yourself. You should never have to change anyone, the only person you are in charge of is yourself. So be patient, chase your dreams and enjoy this thing called life.
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”